Behind the Scenes at Jewelry Tales™

Year one

2012-01-20T09:21:00.001-08:00

I've finished one year of my healthy living experiment.

One year ago today, I decided to put my focus on my health; to give up eating badly, start exercising, and see what would happen. I didn't like the way I felt; I was tired all the time, I was overweight, and, worst of all, I felt as if there was nothing I could do to change that.

I'd always heard that after menopause, women just had to deal with energy loss and weight gain; it was our lot in life. "Scale back your expectations," I was advised; "You're not a kid anymore. Deal with it. You'll never be a size six again; you're too old to worry about your figure."

I figured I just had to accept my body the way it was.

In truth, I was feigning acceptance by ignoring it. I didn't look in mirrors, and I didn't step on scales. I avoided anything that made me sweat; I pretended that gardening was enough exercise. I ate whatever I wanted, because it tasted good, and I deserved it. My kids are grown, and this is supposed to be my time, right?

But reality eventually intruded into my fantasy life; at my doctor's visit a year ago, my doctor pointed out that although I was still in the overweight category, the next step was definitely obesity. He told me that if I continued to gain weight at the rate I was gaining it, I'd be there sooner rather than later. Even worse, my blood pressure and blood sugar levels were starting to creep up; if that trend continued, I'd be at risk for stroke and diabetes.

So I weighed my options.

On one side: eating lots of fat and sugar-filled foods was comforting; it made me feel loved to indulge myself. I like to eat. I love creamy, rich food; the richer and creamier the better. On the other side: I was making myself sick. A big box of antacids had somehow taken up permanent residence on my bedside table; and, every morning, I woke up coughing, with a very sour stomach. It was getting harder and harder for me to bend over; I was out of breath and exhausted doing things that I used to do easily. And I was fat. No getting around it. My face was so round, my eyes looked like little slits, and my neck disappeared behind a couple of extra chins. My belly was a giant muffin top, and my bras were industrial-strength. And now, my health was at stake. I'd seen firsthand what stroke and diabetes can do to people, and I didn't want to go there if I could help it.

Not even I could rationalize choosing a daily regimen of creamy cheeses, chocolate and cookies over all those negatives. My doctor swore that it was all reversible; he promised me that eating properly and exercising would change my life. I was less sure, but I knew I had to do something. I couldn't just keep getting sicker and fatter if there was a way out of it; I had to try.

And so I began. I committed myself to four months of healthy eating; no more processed foods, no refined sugars, lots more fruit and veggies, and start every day with a good breakfast. That was the hardest part for me; I have never been a breakfast eater. I had always started my day with several cups of coffee (okay, maybe a muffin or a couple of doughnuts after being up for a few hours) and that was that. But my doctor was insistent: if I did nothing else, I must have a good breakfast first thing in the morning in order to jump start my metabolism and even out my blood sugar levels. I reluctantly complied.

After four months, I was seeing results. I had lost weight, and I felt better. I'd started lifting weights, and I was feeling stronger. I had more endurance, and I was able to do things I hadn't done in years. The antacids went back into the medicine cabinet; I didn't need them anymore. I woke up feeling good; I was sleeping better, and I wasn't sick in the morning. I also, inexplicably, started waking up extremely hungry; breakfast is a treat now. I committed to four more months. And then, four more.

And now, I'm committing to another year. I still want to lose about 5-10 lbs; but I'm not going to stress over it. If I don't lose them, I'm happy with my weight as it is now. I'm healthy again. I'm within the normal weight range for my height and frame size. I won't say that I don't miss the foods I've given up; I do. I crave them still. But as strong as the cravings are, I don't want to go back. I don't want to be sick, fat and tired again. Once in awhile, I do indulge. But only a little bit. And not every day, or even every week. Only when it's something really special.

This is a life choice; I remind myself every day that I'm choosing health today.

The Scale

2012-01-06T10:12:00.001-08:00

I gave in and bought one.

It was time; I've been on my healthy eating program for almost a year, and I was getting curious. Afraid, but curious. I knew I'd lost weight; but how much?

I've been poring over weight-to-height charts, information on calculating BMI, and I've determined my fame size. (I'm solidly in the medium category.) But all that meant nothing without knowing the Actual Number. I knew it wouldn't be as low as I wanted it to be, and it wasn't. But I am officially inside of the normal weight range for my height and frame size; I've even made it into the old normal weight range from my teenage years.

Yup, just like the bodies that fit into what is now labeled a size eight, the normal weight range has gotten bigger. For my height, the lower limit remains the same, but the upper limit is twenty pounds higher than it was in my youth. Of course, that is for someone with a "large frame;" but even so, the old upper limit was for women who had "big bones."

So, I'm aiming for the center of the old weight range. I'm a medium frame, so that should be just about right for me. It was a very good weight for me the last time I was at it (about 20 years ago!) and it's a number that would give me enough leeway to occasionally indulge without fear of nasty repercussions. I don't expect to get there by my one year anniversary, though I would like to. The slightly compulsive side of me would like to be nice and neat and wake up on the 20th of January at my desired weight. But I'm not going to let that be the only goal that will make me happy.

I'm going to celebrate being back in the normal range, and I'm going to do it without eating something bad for me. I'm no longer a member of the overweight. The scale says so.

Eleven Months

2011-12-21T07:35:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's that time again: Cookies, truffles, fudge, rich foods and champagne.

Butter.

Sugar.

Chocolate.

Egg Nog!

And my monthly check in. Yes, it's been eleven months of healthy eating for me, and this month is definitely the hardest one. I can't claim to be cookie-free . . . though I will say that I can count the number of cookies I've eaten on my fingers. I might need a toe or two before the month is over, but I won't need to borrow anyone else's hands or feet.

That's huge for me. Cookies have always been a major comfort and joy food source in my life; I love them. They're so easy to grab; they go from the jar to my tummy without a fork or a plate. Cookies are a combination of instant gratification and a trip back in time to a point when childhood was a blissful combination of butter and sugar. That might seem like a lot to ask of such a small morsel, but for me, they've always delivered.

It's a real shame about the fat, sugar and calories. Without those, cookies would be the perfect food.

I'll be cookie free-again in January. This month, I'll settle for enjoying them in moderation.

Elegant Elements, indeed!

2011-12-02T11:21:00.000-08:00

Isn't this clasp just the prettiest thing you've ever seen? I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. And - lucky, lucky me! - it's on my bead board right now. Surrounded by piles of gold beads, pearls, Swarovski crystals, and vintage rhinestones.

Along with several other wonderful beaders and designers, I was asked to be part of an exciting challenge sponsored by The Beadsmith, a supplier of beads and bead stringing supplies to qualified wholesale distributers throughout the world. This clasp is part of their Elegant Elements collection, and it is aptly named. Beyond aptly named, actually; the picture doesn't do it full justice.

I'm weaving a lacy bracelet to set off this clasp; I wish it were going to be finished by tomorrow night so that I could wear it to a party, but I think that's overly optimistic. It will be done when it's done, I won't rush it.

I think a door just opened. I wanted a fun challenge, and I got one.

Old hands and new tricks

2011-11-27T10:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's easy to recognize where my ideas come from. I'm working on a project right now that's all about trying things I haven't done before; the pendant owes everything to Jamie Cloud Eakin, and the rope it will hang from has echoes of Marcia DeCoster and Rachel Nelson-Smith.

It also represents my own journey in every bead and in every stitch. My love - and knowledge - of lacemaking, architecture, and engineering are mixed together in this piece. It has vintage beads that my grandmother saved for probably 50 years, and new beads that are much more regular in size. It has a new cab, featuring a vintage photo; it is a combination of old and new in every part.

As am I.

I've been thinking about creativity lately. I've been through a dry spell, and I'm just now confident that I'm coming out of it. I was pushing too hard for too long, trying to be something I'm not; and, in doing that, I lost the gist of what I am for awhile. But I've found it again. I'm an amalgamation of everything I see and do; a casserole of everything I've ever seen and everything I've ever done. I distill my experiences and bring out something new with my hands, one stitch at a time.

I've also discovered that I need balance in my life in order to create; I don't do well when I try to focus on my craft and make it happen as a business venture. The more I thought about business, the more I lost my creative spark. And without that, I had no business on which to focus.

So, I've decided to put the business part of it on the back burner and get back to living a creative life. I've learned that I need music, and art, and friends, and laughter in order to be a creative person. I need to keep joy as one of the primary ingredients in my creative stew; without it, everything falls more than a bit flat.

I learned that this year. Seems I'm always learning something. My hands have been beading for nearly 50 years; I hope they have many more years of beading in them.

I guess I'm getting to be an old hand at this. How odd.

Ten months in

2011-11-20T09:31:00.000-08:00

It's been ten months since I started my experiment in healthy living, and I am happy to report that I can now look at a photograph of myself without cringing. When I saw the photos from last year's family reunion, I cried. I hated the way I looked; and I hated the way I felt. I was unhealthy, uncomfortable, and scared. I knew I was in bad shape, but I didn't think there was anything I could do to change it. I was almost afraid to try; I'd heard so many people tell me that after 50 the body goes downhill and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.

So, back in late January of this year, I decided that even if losing weight was not possible, I could eat a healthy diet for four months and see if it made me feel better. Yes, I secretly - okay, not so secretly - hoped the weight would come off, and I would look better, but I wasn't counting on it. I decided to cut out refined sugars and processed foods, eat mostly fresh vegetables and fruit, and slowly decreased my portion sizes. I made sure that I ate a good breakfast first thing every morning - usually plain yogurt with fresh fruit and nuts - and, if I want to snack, I have a few nuts or some unsweetened dried fruit (check those labels!). I promised myself that I would stick to it for four months because my birthday was four months away, and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I told myself that if I had lost enough weight to go down a size, then I would ask my husband to take me clothes shopping for my birthday. If I hadn't lost any weight, then I'd ask him to buy a dozen doughnuts for my birthday breakfast, and I'd do a face plant that evening in my own birthday cake. I had a plan, and I was sticking to it. I can do anything for four months; I figured that was enough time to see results, if it was going to work; if it wasn't, then I could rest assured that I'd given it a good try, and I could go back to eating all the things I loved. In excess, of course.

I can admit something now that I couldn't say back in January, 2011 - although I could squeeze myself into a pair of size 8, spandex enhanced, lowrider jeans, it wasn't a pretty sight. My "real size" was more like a 16, but I was clinging to the myth that I was a size 8. How bad could I be if I was a size 8? Well, I wasn't a size 8 then, but I was after four months of healthy eating. No more squeezing. The spandex didn't have to expand, and my cell phone fit into my pocket without bulging. In the fitting room, I managed to squeeze myself into a pair of size four, spandex enhanced lowrider jeans, but I didn't buy them. I liked the way I looked in the size 8 pants. I liked the way I felt in the size 8 pants. I bought some new tops, and a pair of loose-fitting, size 8 cargo pants, and decided to go for another four months of healthy eating.

I'm now halfway through my third set of four months, and I'm wearing size 6 jeans. Comfortably. Loosely, even. And I don't even know what size I could "squeeze myself into" because I haven't tried squeezing for 6 months. Although I still have horrible cravings for sweets, they don't taste the way I remember - when I do give in and take a bite of something sweet, I don't really enjoy it like I think I will. Truth be told, I miss dessert; I loved sweets, and it makes me sad that I've lost that enjoyment. On the other hand, though, fruit tastes really, really good to me now - so sweet! - and I get to eat it every day. Guilt-free. For breakfast, even.

The holidays are upon us. Will I be able to handle it? I will eat some pumpkin pie, but not the baklava. I think fudge is behind me; it doesn't even really sound good. But I might make some really, really dark chocolate truffles rolled in unsweetened cocoa. Eggnog? no, I don't think so. Half a cup of eggnog in my coffee was my favorite treat from Thanksgiving until the last carton was gone at the supermarket, but I think I'll give it a miss this year. I am thinking of treating myself to spoonful of a homemade alternative: heavy cream, vanilla and nutmeg. Just a spoonful, though. I've actually gotten rather used to taking my coffee black.

I'll make up a pan of shortbread, because I adore Christmas cookies, and I don't want to give them up. I know that the super-sweet ones most likely will not taste good to me anymore; but I still want to have something to nibble on in front of the fire after the tree has been trimmed.

I'll let you know next month how it goes; it will be nearly Christmas by then.

Social Networking

2011-11-14T09:35:00.001-08:00

I have depended upon social networking for my daily "people fix" for upwards of twenty years now. As a writer, I've often worked from home, and, beginning with CompuServe Forums so many years ago, I've really come to enjoy - and depend on - my little trips to the virtual water cooler for gossip, information, and contact with living, breathing, albeit asynchronous, human beings.

At its best, it's a giant network of pen pals from all over the world. I can drop in whenever I like and see updates from people whom I've gotten to know through photographs and the written word; someone is always doing something interesting.

I work in short bursts; I get antsy if I focus on one thing for too long. I need short breaks to function at my best, so social networking is ideal for me. I'm in and out in a few minutes, feeling refreshed and human again; that little bit of contact with the world allows me to dip back into my work with renewed vigor and get the job done. There are no interruptions when I'm working, and I'm not interrupting anyone else's work when I need my people fix. That's the beauty of asynchronous communication.

Unfortunately, Facebook has a chat function. Since I usually keep a Facebook window open and handy for my quick little breaks, chat means that anyone can open a window to me anytime they like. I was raised to be polite; it's hard for me to ignore someone who is asking to speak to me. Unfortunately, those little windows usually open at a time when I'm busily writing, which created a dilemma for me: politeness or work? Whichever I choose, I'm going to have regrets. So, for a long time, I'd managed to keep the chat function disabled. I think that option must have run out; suddenly that darn chat window has started popping up again.

This morning, it popped up while I was taking a physical break from the computer; when I came back, I saw the little chat window on my screen with two lines of text in it. The first line said, "Hello," and the second said, "Why did you accept my friendship if you're not going to talk to me?"

Oddly enough, this plaintive cry was from someone who didn't appear to be human. The entity who was upset when I didn't instantly respond was a bead store. Now, I like bead stores as much as any beader, but I like to visit them when I want to buy beads. As much as I like them, I'm not in the habit of inviting them into my home. I began to think about the bead store's message, and then, I began to wonder why I had accepted the friend request. I unfriended it. If a bead store believes that I should be at its beck and call after accepting its friendship, then I don't want the friendship.

I realized that I needed to deal with the chat window. Now.

I went into the settings, and "disable chat" was no longer an option. "Available to chat" was checked off; I clicked on it again, hoping to see the check mark disappear. No such luck. That stumped me for a few minutes; the only other option was "Limit availability." I clicked that, but found only a list of my lists; it seems that Facebook does not want to let me choose to chat with no one anymore.

I fooled 'em.

Or at least, I hope I did; I made up a new list called "Chat," and selected it as the only group to whom I am available for chat. The "chat" list is empty.

I've got my fingers crossed that it works.

Time and understanding

2011-11-07T09:49:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, we went to a family reunion and birthday party for Gramma; she will be 105 in about a week. She is doing amazingly well; she has some trouble hearing, which she finds frustrating, but her mind is as sharp as ever.

Still - at 105 - she knows that her time is running out; she's surprised that she's lasted this long. She doesn't necessarily expect to wake up when she goes to sleep each night, and one of these days, she won't. She's very matter-of-fact about that. She has come to terms with the eventuality of death; she has an understanding of it that I am not able to accept.

I've mentioned before that the concept of mortality has begun to slap me around a bit; yet, when I look at Gramma, I'm faced with the fact that I'm only a little bit more than half-way to her age. There's no guarantee I've got her life expectancy, of course; but neither can I focus on the possibility of dying for the next 52 (or more!) years. It's still time for me to work on being alive.

I may grow hard of hearing; I may not be able to do the things I can do today at some time in the future, but I can do them now.

105 years and counting.

Opening and closing

2011-11-04T09:12:00.000-07:00

This year has been a year of change for me; physical changes to be sure; but emotional and life changes, too. I've been trying things that I've always wanted to do, but didn't have the nerve to do, and I have been working on getting healthy and strong.

As the year winds down, I'm really feeling the changes; I've let go of some things, and opened up room for others, yet unknown. Letting go can be very painful; not just for the one who lets go, but for others, who don't want to let go. That's the hardest part of letting go; sometimes other people feel hurt.

I wish I could please everyone all the time, but I can't. I've spent about 50 years trying, and have recently come to the reluctant conclusion that I must let go of that need in me to please others; I must, finally, be true to myself. And so, I've opened another door, cleared out some more space in my life, made some more room for something that will be a better fit for me.

When I did that, a door closed behind me.

It happens sometimes. It's sad; but it also makes me very grateful for the times when the door wasn't closed behind me; grateful for the friends who understand that sometimes we need to walk in different directions in order to meet up again and share our stories. Those people are rare and precious jewels; I treasure them, and love knowing that we will always be close in our hearts, even if life has taken us in very different directions.

You know who you are. I love you always.

Check in

2011-10-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

It's been nine months since I started dieting, and I've been on a plateau for the last two or three months. Maybe even longer than that, actually. It's sort of hard to tell, since I'm still refusing to step on the scale.

You see, I'm dreadfully competitive. If I were to purchase a scale and use it, I would fixate on the number I saw there; I would weigh myself daily, and put the number in a spreadsheet. I would analyze it, and I would want to see results.

I can't do that to myself any more; it's not productive and it only serves to make me unhappy. But I know myself too well to think that I could make myself stop if I ever let a scale into my life.

How do I know I'm on a plateau? My clothes. My belt has been on the same notch for so long that it's starting to wear. I haven't needed to move down a size for quite awhile. I'm not gaining, so I'm not complaining.

Much.

But I would love to get off this plateau and lose the rest of the weight. Ideally, before my one year anniversary. But I'm not going to stress too much about it; I'm committed to living a healthy lifestyle, and I've been doling that. Instead of counting the pounds or the sizes, I'm keeping track of my exercise routines and staying away from the sugar.

I'm still at it so I'm calling this month a success.

Once more, with feeling

2011-09-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm studying voice, and I've reached the hard part: my teacher wants me to sing with feeling.

You see, I'm a living, breathing, walking contradiction. I'm a very emotional person who presents a very even-keeled view of myself to the world; I've spent the past 50-plus years making my shell stronger, smoother, and harder. I don't share my feelings; I'm calm. I'm rational. I handle things.

I do my feeling in private.

How can this be the next step? It's not fair. I love the technical aspects of singing: it's fun to find the perfect pitch, to feel my voice resonating with the guitar or the piano, to make the sound waves match up; I like my breathing exercises; I like learning where my lips, tongue, epiglottis and breath need to go to make a good sound; I revel in warm-up exercises and am startled when I lay claim to a new, even higher, note. I'd be perfectly comfortable staying in this analytical phase forever.

But no.

Apparently, music is about feelings. About sharing feelings. About communicating feelings. I'm having trouble with that; I'm not sure I remember how to do that; I know I'm not comfortable doing that.

But I'm going to try.

Step one is this post; you're not only getting my confession; you're getting a piece of my abstract art. I loved painting abstracts; I loved shutting off my brain and letting my emotions fill the canvas. It was the one thing I let myself do that was completely irrational. But even that became too difficult for me; I set down my paints over 20 years ago.

Today I thought I'd try an abstract in Photoshop. It may not taste like paint, but the feeling is still there.

Remembering why I do this

2011-09-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

Here's a shot of my bead mat, as it is this very moment. As you can see, I'm building some components; I don't know yet if they will turn into a bracelet or a necklace, I'm just playing with shiny things today.

I've been at loose ends this summer; I haven't been my usual, driven self. You may have noticed that I haven't written many new tutorials lately; I just can't seem to get myself settled down to draw diagrams, or write directions. I have several projects waiting to be written up, but i've found a million excuses to do something - anything - else. When my resistance to something is this high, I've always found that it's best not to force it; time and tides have a way of coming around again, and I'm sure that one of these days I will wake up and begin writing and drawing diagrams like a madwoman.

But not today. Today I am playing with shiny things.

It's been a rough year; mortality has reared its ugly head, and I've had to face the fact that things change and I won't live forever. Not that I really ever thought I would, but it's just not as abstract a concept as it used to be. No matter how I slice it, I'm in the second half, or maybe even the last quarter. This year, I committed myself to eating properly and exercising; I know it won't make me immortal, but I'm hoping that being in better shape physically will keep me from facing some of the physical problems and limitations I've seen recently in the people I love.

I want to keep playing for a long time yet.

That's why I make jewelry; I like to play. I like to experiment; I like to build things. I like to put beads together, one at a time, and I love shiny, sparkly things. Today I'm playing with gold-plated Delicas, rivolis, an exorbitant number of bitty little Swarovski crystals, and faceted ruby rondelles. You know: all the good things that I haven't used because they were expensive and precious.

I'm using them today.

Because life is short, and everything can all change in an instant, I'm going to start using up all the expensive, too-good-to-use beads.

This is my time.

Well, it's been 7 months

2011-08-29T10:25:00.001-07:00

When I started, I believed that I should be where I wanted to be st six months; I know lots of people who've lost more weight than I have in this amount of time. I'm feeling like an underachiever, and I hate that. I want to have all of the excess weight gone now.

I still have to really try to say something nice when I look at a photo of me. I'm very harsh with myself; I know that, and I'm trying to get better, but my first reaction is crushing.

I still look as huge as a house to myself.

For that reason, you're not getting a close-up, clear photo of me in my workout clothes today; you're getting the artsy, darker, smaller, looking-into-the-sun-so-you-can't-really-see-me-very-well one. Isn't the garden pretty?

I sometimes wonder if I will ever feel good when I look at a picture of myself. Oddly enough, the mirror is starting to be my friend; I don't hate what I see in the mirror anymore, so that's a step in the right direction. I'm hoping that it really is true that the camera adds fifteen pounds, and that what I see in the mirror is more truly a reflection of how I really look.

I know I'm smaller. I've lost more than 10 inches in each of the crucial bust/waist/hips measurements, and my legs and arms are also much slimmer and trimmer than they were six months ago. But I'd still like to lose another 5-6 inches from each spot, especially in the bust; I tell myself that my big bust is the reason I look so huge in photos, and it might actually be true.

It's frustrating sometimes, but I'm still at it.

Nice way to start the day

2011-08-23T09:31:00.001-07:00

I spent the morning out on the porch, stripping off lemon verbena leaves, loading up the dehydrator, and feeding the blue jay peanuts.

Sometimes I really love my life.

Yes, it's a lot of work to grow and process so much of our own food; some of the tasks are back breaking, and performed under the hot sun, but some of them are totally delightful. This morning was one of the most delightful ones; I took my dehydrator trays out onto our lovely shady back porch and slowly filled up all six with lemon verbena leaves. In between stripping off the leaves, I tossed peanuts to our resident blue jay.

We haven't taken the time to tame this one; this has been an extraordinarily busy summer. But he knows how to call to us when he wants peanuts, and we toss them out for him. He has no problem swooping in and picking them up; he hides them all over the yard, mostly in the lawn.

Next winter, when I'm sipping hot lemon verbena tea, I'll remember this morning.

Lost . . . and found

2011-07-25T09:34:00.001-07:00

In many ways, this has been a year of loss for me; some of the losses have been necessary and good, some of them have not.

I was raised to believe that "no one wants to hear about your troubles;" and while I do believe in the power of positive thinking, and the importance of attitude, I have also come to the realization that there are times when I need the comfort of knowing that people love me, even when I'm hurting and sad. I don't think I'm alone in that; I think we all need to be reassured that we're still loved, even when we're not particularly lovable.

"She's just doing that to get attention. Don't give it to her."

How many time have we heard that, or said it ourselves? How many times have we felt resentful towards the people who are doing that to us - or hurt by the people who think we're doing it to them? How can we tell the difference between a play for attention, or a real need for love?

I'm good at asking questions; I don't have any answers. But, lately, I've been coming to the conclusion that it's important to honor our struggles. It's important to validate other people's efforts, and to mourn their losses with them. We all need to be told that it's okay to hurt; that we don't have to keep all the pain inside.

Pain happens; hurt happens; loss happens. I think we need to let ourselves pay attention to that; we don't have to give ourselves over to it, and we shouldn't let other people's trouble overwhelm our lives, but if we can stop for a moment, look someone in the eye, and let them know that we care, we should.

I know how much that has meant to me this year.

Month five check in

2011-06-21T12:37:00.000-07:00

The novelty has certainly worn off; I'm getting used to having sore muscles, and I'm starting to get grumpy about it. At first, I was sort of excited about it; I have muscles, who knew? The fact that they were sore meant that I was getting stronger, and what's a little pain compared to that? After all, I have a mantra: no hurt, no mini-skirt.

Well, that worked for the first couple of months.

Not so much, anymore. There is, of course, the very real possibility that I'm overtraining just a little bit; I tend to overdo most things, so it wouldn't really be a surprise. I've decided to stay at the weights I'm using now until I can do the exercises fairly easily; I'll sacrifice a bit of muscle growth this month in favor of feeling less pain. I don't like to admit it, but I'm not a kid anymore. I just don't recover quite as quickly as I used to.

I'm determined not to get discouraged, however; I'm not giving up. I'm getting close to my goal, and it's more important to make this something I can live with than it is to get there fast. Of course, I'd like to have both of those things happen, but I'm very aware that if I don't slow down, I will eventually talk myself into giving it up, and I certainly won't get there without it! So, slow down, I will.

Can you tell that I don't like having to slow down?

Just for fun

2011-06-14T15:36:00.000-07:00

Today, I decided to decorate some earring backings. I love the feathers in my hair, but they're fairly subtle, and sometimes I want to be a bit wilder.

But not every day.

So, instead of putting these larger, brighter feathers into my hair, I attached them to some butterfly earring backings. As long as you can crimp (and, for some reason, today was not a good crimping day for me, I ruined several crimps before I got them right) you can make these fun earring backings, which can be worn with any of your post earrings.

1. String a crimp bead on one end of your beading wire, and add one or two feathers under the crimp so that feathers are going down, and the beading wire going up. Crimp. Trim off any excess feathers or beading wire. If you're a neat freak, or a bad crimper (like me!) add a crimp cover.

2. String on an accent bead, and as many seedies as you like to get the length you want. I might go longer next time.

3. String a crimp bead, and go through one of the little curls on the earring backing. Leaving the beading wire loose enough for movement, go back through the crimp bead and several of the seedies. Crimp and trim off the excess beading wire.

4. Wear!

This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to decorating earring backs; attach chain with a jump ring, make beaded fringe or string beads to match your favorite earrings. The wilder the better, I think.

If you decide to make some, I'd love to see your photos! Please share them with me on my Jewelry Tales Facebook page. If you're not already a fan of my page, you will need to "like" it before you can add a photo.

Body image, or why women feel fat no matter what we do

2011-05-31T17:48:00.001-07:00

I saw an excellent video today that reminded me why I will probably never look in the mirror and see what I think I should see; in our culture, women in photographs aren't real. They've been edited, polished, thinned out and turned into something very unrealistic; we see these photographs every day, and they influence our perceptions.

The picture on the left is me. Today. As I really look.

The picture on the right has been photoshopped, following the guidelines used for publication. I've been smoothed, my legs have been lengthened, my bust-line is perkier and my waist is thinner. My wrinkles have been touched up, my lip-line redrawn, and my hair is a bit fuller. My neck is longer and thinner; my arms are slimmer. I didn't spend a ton of time on the retouching, so it's not perfect, but you get the idea.

I'm not real anymore, but most people would say I look a lot better.

I will never look like that in real life, no matter how much weight I lose, no matter how many weights I lift. There is simply no way to make my legs get 30% longer. But it's what we see in every magazine, it's how we grow up thinking we should look, and when I looked at it, even I thought, "Yes! That's how I should look."

Not.

Not, not, not, not, not.

Muscles and bones

2011-05-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

I'm adding them to my goals for the next four months. As I've lost weight, I've seen some of my bone structure re-emerge; today I saw an abdominal muscle.

More, please.

Four months is only the beginning

2011-05-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

This probably comes as a surprise to no one but me, but here goes:

I've made it through four months of healthy eating, and about three months of exercise, and, although I've met my original goal of losing weight and wearing smaller sized clothes, I'm not about to stop now.

Four more months.

Yup, I'm officially committing to four more months of healthy living; I will continue to keep taking a look at myself every month about this time, and will re-evaluate my position at the end of another four months.

This time, I'm not setting size or weight goals for myself; I'm setting health goals. I've been getting stronger, and I will keep lifting weights and exercising in order to keep getting stronger. I've been sleeping better; I will keep exercising and eating lightly so that I will continue to sleep well. I'm generally happier, calmer and more optimistic; I won't say that I can handle everything that life throws my way, but I'm definitely feeling less panic in situations that used to throw me for a loop. I have discovered that I don't need to eat my way out of trouble; I can get through fear without food. I will keep exercising and eating properly because proper nutrition and exercise definitely enhances my positive energy.

I feel better, and I look better. Because of that, I'm less fearful now in social situations. While I will always be on the shy side, I'm becoming more comfortable talking to people I don't know, and I'm enjoying life a lot more. I'm taking a big step, starting today; I will be taking voice lessons. I've always wanted to be able to sing; I don't know yet if I can learn, but I believe that I can get better, and I hope I can become more comfortable singing out loud. Right now, I'm really only comfortable singing when I know no one can hear me, so it's a very big leap for me to take lessons; there is no way to do that without being heard by at least one person.

So, although I suspect that I will want to keep going down this path for as long as I keep going, I'm only committing to four months at a time. Four months is doable, comfortable, and not threatening; it's also enough time to see progress. I need reasonable goals with defined outcomes; I need rules, time limits and routines.

I want to be able to sing.

Freedom!

2011-05-16T18:09:00.001-07:00

I overbooked myself this winter; I made too many commitments, and said yes to too many projects.

I don't regret any of them, but it's nice to have things winding down. This past weekend, I finished two big projects - on or before their deadlines - and I'm looking forward to making something that I've been thinking about making for over a month.

Coincidentally, I also had a wonderful letter from a customer this week; she told me about her aunt Elaina, a free spirit whom I wish I could have known, and asked me if I could design a bracelet that would honor her aunt's memory. The more she told me about her aunt, the more I realized that the bracelet I've been wanting to make just might be exactly right.

I've laid out the lampwork beads, and the seed beads I want to use with them; now it's time to figure out the details. I love to play with beads, and I'm feeling especially playful right now. I'm not unlike a kid after finals; school's out, my assigned projects are done, and I'm tossing my books in the air.

Color. Gotta have color! and big, bold shapes. Nothing subtle about my mood; it's time to let the wild child run.

I never thought I'd say this . . .

2011-04-29T11:29:00.000-07:00

. . . but it's true. I actually look forward to two things I used to hate with a passion: breakfast and exercise.

I never used to eat breakfast; I woke up every morning feeling yucky, and the last thing I wanted to do was put food into my stomach, so I didn't. I didn't believe it when people said that breakfast was the most important meal of the day.

I didn't want to eat anything in the morning, so I didn't.

But now I love it. I actually wake up feeling hungry instead of yucky, and my big bowl of fruit and yogurt is my favorite meal of the day. Not only does it taste good, but it's so pretty. This morning, I had sliced pears, strawberries, kumquats and pecans in yogurt with a sprinkling of cinnamon and freshly ground nutmeg. It's a color combination that I really should bead up; soft white, pale green, bright red, bright orange, light orange and reddish-brown.

And it tastes good, too. It's funny; when I stopped eating candy and other sweets, other foods started tasting sweeter and sweeter. My morning bowl of fruit gives me the same explosion of sweetness that I used to get from a bowl of ice cream. And to think that it's actually good for me!

After doing a few things around the house and checking my email, I'm ready to exercise. I just finished doing my weight lifting; I used to hate anything to do with exercise, but now I actually look forward to that, too. I work out in the garage, and during my 60 second rest periods between sets, I wander out into the garden and admire the flowers, pull a weed or two, or pick and eat a strawberry or a few peas. Then I go back and do my next set.

The lifting gets my blood moving, and the sunshine, plants and flowers lift my spirits.

Who knew?

It's that time again

2011-04-19T17:24:00.001-07:00

I'm three months into my healthy living experiment; I've got one more month to go on my original plan. Although sugar still calls my name, I've been able to resist; I've eaten many, many strawberries as a substitute for candy.

Thank goodness we have a very large, and prolific, strawberry patch.

This month, I'm happy to report that a few people around me have actually noticed that I'm getting smaller; it felt really good to have others affirm my progress. I bought a pair of shorts last week; my shorts from last summer are just way too big. I felt so good about myself today that I was able to pick out - and purchase - a new bathing suit.

A bikini.

Hubby may be the only one who sees me in it for awhile, but when I got home, I threw away my old suits. I'm moving forward, and there will be bikinis in my future. I believe that I can do it, and that's a very good feeling.

This month, my goal is to keep on keeping on; to not let myself become complacent and slip back into bad habits. My goal is in sight; I'm feeling good, I finally believe that I can reach my goal, and I don't want to let the siren song of sugar lead me astray. I know that the last of the weight will take longer than a month to lose, and I'm ready to commit to four more months of healthy living.

I might even be ready to commit to a lifetime of it.

Woo hooo!

2011-04-18T13:48:00.000-07:00

It's always exiting to get a package from a publishing company, rip it open, and start looking for myself in there. This time, I'm on page 18 of the 7th Anniversary issue of Bead Unique.

I love Bead Unique Magazine; in addition to cool projects, they always have articles about lampwork beads and lampwork bead artists.

And you all know how much I love lampwork beads!

So it is particularly appropriate that the bracelet pictured in this issue uses lampies from one of my all-time favorite artists, Melissa Vess.

I was thrilled when my Hugs and Kisses bracelet won second prize in their Spring 2011 Bead Accessory contest, but seeing it in print is even more exciting.

Thank you, Bead Unique!

Weighty matters

2011-04-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

They look so innocent, sitting there.

Two dumbells, with five pounds on each side of each one, making twenty pounds total. When I first started using them, I couldn't believe how heavy they felt; there was no way I could finish all the repetitions in each set. But I've been persevering; each time I lift, I've been able to do a few more, and now I can do all of them.

Not easily - no, it's still a struggle, but it's supposed to be hard. If it were easy, I'd be wasting my time, right?

I've got six weeks left in my original four months of healthy eating and more exercise plan. I have no idea how much weight I've lost; I'm smaller, and that's a good thing, but I'm not where I want to be yet. I've got several more inches, and at least two or three more sizes, to lose before I'm at my fit and fighting weight.

I'm starting to really re-think my "weigh in date;" right now, I feel good about my progress, but I suspect that the number on the scale won't be nearly as low as I want it to be, and that would, I know, negate all the positives I'm listing and make me feel as though I've accomplished nothing.

That's pretty sad.

Here's the reality: Even though I'm not "there" yet, for the first time in quite a few years I'm not cringing and looking away as quickly as I can when I walk past a mirror. I'm not laying on my back on my bed and stuffing myself into "relaxed" jeans that are three sizes too small and pretending they fit, just to avoid buying a bigger size. My clothes actually have extra room in them; I need a belt to keep some of my jeans from falling down.

And still, the thought of seeing the number on the scale terrifies me.

Whatever it is, it won't be enough. My four-month plan covered 17 weeks. At one pound a week, that's a potential 17 lbs of weight lost; that amount would bring me half-way to my final goal. It sounded so reasonable when I started, but it is (forgive the pun) starting to weigh heavily on me now. What if I haven't lost nearly that much?

I'm scared of the scale; I'm afraid that it has the power to send me into despair and make me want to give up. Would it be cowardly to skip the weigh in and just keep going for another four months?

I've got six weeks to decide.

Tale of Two necklaces

2011-04-03T10:25:00.001-07:00

I'm in love with the Seven Sisters Pendant pattern from beAd Infinitum.

It's got a very romantic and vintage look to it, which suits me to a T. I used the first one I made as a closure for a pretty, lacy choker; if I'm wearing my hair up, it goes to the back, and if I'm not, I can wear it in the front as pictured here. I added a vintage rhinestone to the center of the pendant to give it a bit more bling; it was very easy to drop it in and bezel around it.

For my second pendant, I wanted something a bit bolder. I love the vintage look of the Seven Sisters Pendant, and I wanted to play that up. I immediately thought of my vintage brass stampings; I bought quite a lot of them from a local antique store a couple of years ago, and have been waiting for inspiration to strike.

This particular piece was one of the first ones I pulled out; I couldn't believe how perfectly the pendant fit onto it. Of course, I didn't select it immediately; I had to try out several other stampings, but I kept coming back to this one.

In this case, my first choice definitely was my best choice.

I added accents of chain, and put the whole thing together with brass jump rings. I think it has a very romantic and pretty look, and it goes perfectly with my favorite plum hippie skirt.

Which I am now skinny enough to wear again, hurrah!

RAW Inpressionism, or the Importance of Not Being Earnest

2011-03-28T18:16:00.001-07:00

I have a tendency to go overboard.

No, really, you can stop laughing now. I know, it's more than a tendency; going overboard is pretty much a way of life for me. I get an idea in my head, and it's all I can see. I've been known to not only make myself crazy, but to contribute to the craziness of others.

Sometimes I just need to step back, turn off my mind, and do something random.

Case in point, I'm doing a project that involves a bunch of other beaders, most of which are head and shoulders above me. It's thrilling and downright scary; I swing between joy and terror every time I think about it. I thought I had my part done, but then I learned that I'd done a bit more than I was supposed to do; in fact I'd not only done my part, but the part of the person who was to come after me.

Gulp.

Now what? Obviously, I must start over. It will not do to overstep and break the rules before the project has even begun; but how to proceed? Panic, no, that is not a good option, though it is my initial reaction.

Fortunately, I realized that I am completely over-thinking this, and it's time to stop being so earnest. Which brings me to my title. I wanted to begin this project with a fabric of RAW, and I shall stay with that plan. So I laid out a pretty palette of beads, and have begun stitching them into a vaguely Impressionistic garden, or at least that is my intent.

I'm not charting anything out; I'm going with my gut on this one. In fact, I'm playing with the beads; letting myself choose the colors as I stitch. I'm going to leave a lot for the next person to interpret; I'm not going to try to dictate the direction, second guess, or try to impress. I'm just going to be me.

Silly, silly me.

Two months in

2011-03-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

. . . and I'm feeling brave enough to show you my before and after pictures. This one, to the left, is what I look like today. I'm sitting in my studio, leaning forward to press the button on the computer that takes my picture.

(If you're busty, like I am, leaning over is a good thing when you take a photo. It really shifts the mass; it made me look a lot better than when I took the photo straight on. I'm vain enough to use perspective tricks, oh, yes I am!)

And to the right, we have the before picture, taken with my cousin's beautiful daughter. I love looking at her; she's adorable. But the picture of me still makes me cringe. Obviously, I was enjoying myself and very happy that day - look at that smile. But the rest of me - ouch! How did I get that big and not notice it happening?

(Erm, I stopped looking in the mirror about 25-30 pounds ago, that's how.)

Okay, enough with the recriminations. It is what it is, and I'm looking now. So, how did this month go, you ask? Not as thrillingly as the first month, when I was losing inches pretty much every day or two. The pace has slowed; the changes are becoming harder and harder to see.

I didn't start exercising right away; it took me a couple of weeks to make that commitment a reality, and I expected too much from it when I did start. I had a meltdown, and was rescued by my friends. I reconnected with an old friend who is now a fitness coach; check out her blog, BAM Fitness Coaching, if you're interested in building muscle and losing weight. She's got me lifting weights in addition to the cardio workouts I was already doing; I can already feel the difference, and I'm looking forward to seeing the difference.

All in all, it was a mixed month.

Though I would really like to see more of a difference, I have lost about 30 inches all told, and even I have to admit that's a lot. I'm not looking as good as I'd like to look because I have about 20 more to lose before the numbers are beginning to be where I want them to be. I started exercising later than I wanted to start, but once I got started, I've been very consistent.

Next month, I want to keep on with the exercise, and work on developing patience. Urk. Not my strong suit. I want the weight off, and I want it off yesterday. But, as I'm constantly reminded, I didn't put the weight on in a week, and it's not coming off in a week. I will get there if I keep working at it.

Eventually.

Two days . . .

2011-03-08T10:54:00.000-08:00

. . . and counting.

My goal this month has been to workout more, and I have to admit that I didn't start off very well. I have been moving more; walking, hiking a bit, and doing short bouts of push-ups and sit-ups, but I really wasn't exerting myself, if you know what I mean.

Long story short, I had a horrible nightmare which pushed me to put on my exercise clothes yesterday and get started. I put my old Tae Bo DVD in the machine and turned it on. Has it really been 7 years since I've worked out? Judging by the date on the disc, yes, yes it has.

Of course, it kicked my butt.

But I went through the whole Strength Workout, without sitting down, even though I did need to slow the pace a little, and grab onto my desk for balance some of the time. I felt really good when I'd finished; it was hard, but I didn't quit. And even though I was feeling the pain this morning, I put that DVD back in and did the Power Workout.

I'm two for two - and counting. I'm going to beat this.

Yippeeee!

2011-03-03T13:11:00.001-08:00

I'm so excited! My Hugs and Kisses Bangle (pattern available in my shops) won second place in the Bead Unique Beaded Accessories Contest.

I've been making a lot of bangles lately; I just can't seem to get enough of them. They're fun; I think that's it. They're playful. It's hard to take a bangle seriously, and that's the mood I've been in lately. I just want to have fun!

Look for my bracelet in the June 2011 issue of Bead Unique, and expect at least a few more bangles from me before then. I don't plan on stopping any time soon.

One month

2011-02-20T08:49:00.000-08:00

This is me, one month into my diet. I have no idea how many pounds I've lost so far, because I'm not weighing myself. I have a tendency to be very competitive, and very, very impatient. I want results immediately, and I want them to be extraordinary.

When I've tried to diet in the past, I've found that weighing myself led to feelings of despair and frustration. I've never been able to lose as much as I expected to lose as quickly as I expected to lose it; getting on the scale and seeing the real number gave me a "what's the use?" feeling that led to giving up and gaining more. So this time, no scale. I've committed to four months of healthy eating and exercising, and I'll wait until then to see how I've done, pound-wise.

Every month, I'm going to look back and see how I've done. This month has gone well, I think. I'm feeling a lot better; I have more energy, I'm sleeping better, and I've seen a change in my size. My chin is pointy again. My nose got thinner; I had to readjust the nosepiece on my glasses to see properly. My eyelids aren't puffy any more. I went down two, count 'em, two bra sizes - and I'm wearing jeans that I couldn't even zip a year ago, without a muffin top bulging over the waistband!

I've already met my goal of dropping one size in four months; my new goal is to stay there, or possibly go down one more size. I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't; I've already met my original goal, and this new goal is strictly for extra credit. I'd like to eventually fit into size 3 jeans, and size 8 tops, but that is my final goal. I've always been broad-shouldered and busty; even when I was thin, I needed a larger size on top, so I don't expect that to change. But I used to be slim-hipped, and I'd like to be there again. Not this quarter, though - that goal is much longer-term.

I'd like to be exercising more; I am definitely exercising more than I was before I started, but I think I could be doing more, so that's my primary goal for this month. I'm very happy with my new diet; I cheated twice this month, once on my sister's birthday, and once on Valentine's Day. Sadly, both times, the yummy desserts didn't agree with me; my mouth loved them, but my stomach said, "no way." As it stands right now, I really have no desire to try that experiment again. My body has made it abundantly clear that it doesn't want sweets. Sorry, tongue. You lose this one.

All in all, it's been a good month. I like how I feel, and I'm not avoiding the mirror any more. I still have more to lose, but I don't hate the way I look; I can walk by a mirror and actually look into it and smile. I can take a picture of myself and let other people see it.

Yay, me.

Moving down the stack

2011-02-14T10:45:00.000-08:00

Not unlike a lot of women, I've got a stack of jeans in my drawer. At the bottom is the holy grail - size six. They move on up from there. I've just tossed out the largest pairs, and I'm down to fitting into the ones I haven't been able to zip for about a year. Oddly enough, they're all the same size. Every single one of them are labeled size eight, and they're from the same manufacturer. However, one group is about a year and a half older than the other group.

Before I tossed the too-big pants, I held them up to the smaller group to see what the difference was. It's an amazing two inches. Yup, in the past year and a half, size eight jeans from this manufacturer got two inches bigger in the waist and hips, and so did I.

That's really sneaky.

Oh, on some level, I knew it; I couldn't zip the old size eights anymore. But I was perfectly willing to overlook that and go on happily, telling myself that I was okay as long as I was wearing a size eight. It was the tag that counted, and the manufacturers know that. They're perfectly willing to play into my little delusion; they knew that I would continue to buy new clothes as long as they have "size eight" written on the tag.

And I'm sure I'm not alone.

Of course, now my mind is reeling. If size eight jeans got two inches bigger, then what happened to size six jeans? Are they two inches bigger, too? Am I really a size six, in today's sizes, right now? And about those sixes at the bottom of the stack - which are much older than any of the size eights - are they really fours in today's sizes? Or even smaller than that?

I'm not going to find out, yet; I'm committed to not buying new clothes, or even trying any on, until my birthday, at the end of May. I want to give myself enough time to make a real change; and, in any case, I've got a few more sizes in the stack to get through before then, so there's no risk of running out.

But it definitely gave me something to think about; it gives me hope that I really am uncovering a thinner me.

Look for me in Perlen Poesie

2011-02-10T07:42:00.000-08:00

I've got a project coming out in the Spring issue of Perlen Poesie; I'm honored to be in the same issue as the amazing Suzanne Golden.

I'm not going to tell you what my project is; but I will tell you that it's one of my favorite pieces. For those of you who don't pick up the magazine (it's published in Germany) the pattern will be available in my shops in a couple of months. Yes, I will tell you which one it is after the magazine is available.

It is so exciting to me to think of my pattern being published in a language I don't even speak; I can't wait to see it. I'm also looking forward to making new friends; Perlen Poesie is a beautiful magazine.

Modified multi-tasking

2011-02-09T13:45:00.000-08:00

Multi-tasking is not a concept I was born understanding. For most of my life, I did one thing at a time. I like to start something and work on it until it is done.

And then I had kids. Leaving aside the fact that almost nothing ever gets done once you have kids, I suddenly found that it was necessary to pay attention to more than one thing at a time. Saying "hold that thought, " just doesn't work with a kindergartner.

So, after many years of semi-successful multi-tasking, I'm getting used to it. Sort of.

A few months ago, I committed to being part of the beAd Infinitum Design team. It's a 6-month commitment, and I'm required to produce two designs by the 15th of each month, using their patterns. It's a sweet deal; their work is very different from mine, and I've been enjoying rummaging around in their brains, via their patterns. I don't think any of the maths have stuck yet, but i've learned a thing or two, and had a lot of fun doing it.

So, you ask, where is this going and what does it have to do with multi-tasking?

My kids taught me how to do several different things at the same time, but I've always been careful to keep those things from being too similar. I can bead, do laundry, and help a kid with homework all at the same time, but those things are very different, and require different parts of my brain.

But now I'm trying to design and execute multiple projects at the same time; between the commitment I've made, the projects I want to do, and the vagaries of my muse, life has become very interesting.

So I've compartmentalized again.

Since I'm working on a very intensive piece of beadweaving for the Bead Mavens' Challenge, I decided to make a strung necklace, using their Double Rose Window beaded bead, for my first February design team project, and use wire-working, with an Infinity Dodecahedron beaded bead, for the second project:

Modified multi-tasking. We do whatever it takes, right?

Do you want fries with that?

2011-02-05T13:15:00.000-08:00

There was an article in this morning's paper about fast food restaurants; it seems they've decided that their market is people who want a lot of calories for a small price. They're making their burgers even bigger, and the bigger they are, the faster they sell.

Included in the article were calorie counts for some brand new fast food offerings: the Stuffed Steakhouse sandwich from Burger King has 600 calories, the All-American Jack sandwich from Jack in the Box has 840 calories, and the Footlong Cheeseburger from Carl's Jr. tops that with 850 calories. By the way, those numbers are just for the burgers.

Add a large order of fries (590 calories) and a 32 ounce Coke (388 calories) to your Burger King sandwich for a grand total of 1,578 calories; 1,966 calories if you go back for your free refill. At Jack in the Box, a large order of fries has 580 calories; add that and a 32 oz. Coke (with a free refill) for an All-American meal that contains 2,196 calories. Add a large fries (470 calories) and a 32 oz. Coke (with free refill) to your Footlong Cheeseburger for a grand total of 2,096 calories. And a Big Mac meal? 704 calories for the sandwich (that 570 number they love to share is for the Big Mac without cheese!); add fries (500 calories) and a 32 oz Coke (don't forget the free refill!) for a grand total of 1,980 calories.

That's a big lunch.

But, hey - we all know that fast food isn't exactly good for us, right? Well, how about these numbers for a couple of popular sit-down restaurants: choose a Fire Pit Bacon Burger from Applebees, and you've just consumed 1,070 calories. Add french fries (400 calories) and Coke with unlimited refills . . . . and, in no time, you're over 2,000 calories. At Chili's, the Barbeque Ranch Burger has 1,110 calories and the fries have 520 calories. With our favorite soft drink (unlimited refills!) the meal once again weighs in at over 2,000 calories. And that's without dessert.

Beth Mansfield (spokeswoman for the company who owns Carl's Jr.) said, "If we wanted to listen to the food police and sell nuts [n.b. 160 calories] and berries [n.b. 80 calories] and tofu burgers [n.b. 80 calories], we wouldn't make any money, and we'd be out of business." (Total calories from a meal of nuts, berries and a tofu burger: 320. Add a glass of water for free.)

Just to put that into perspective, the average recommended daily calorie intake (yours will vary based on your age, height, weight and activity level) is 1,940 calories for women, and 2,550 for men.

One meal. That's all it takes.

Anatomy of a challenge

2011-02-03T17:07:00.001-08:00

I've been working on my Vernal Visions Challenge piece for awhile now; it's actually a piece that I've been wanting to make for close to a year now.

There have been several reasons why I haven't made it before now; the main one being that I couldn't figure out how to do a critical part of it. This piece is inspired by the work of Faberge; he, of course, worked in gold and precious jewels, and I'm working in seed beads.

There is a difference.

I tried close to a hundred ways to make this tiny little component that inspired me, and failed miserably each time. I knew that I should be able to do it, but I just couldn't find a way to translate it into beads. Until recently. And the solution was so simple I nearly cried. All those complicated, crazy things I tried didn't work at all; and here it is in seven beads, done. In this piece, the challenging part isn't going to show in the final product; the challenge was finding the simple way to do it.

So now, with that problem solved, it took only a few tries to work out the rest of it. Now I know what to do, and how to do it; all that's left is the doing.

The part that shows is such a little bit of the work.

One for the girls

2011-01-31T11:46:00.000-08:00

One of the things I decided to do while losing weight is to get rid of my clothes as I shrink out of them. I'm not even going to consider keeping them; no matter how nice they are, I'm never going to wear them again. I'm making a change for life.

Today I tossed my first item.

Items, actually; three bras were ceremoniously tossed into the trash this morning. I am down a size. I'm not going back to that size - ever. Hurrah!

Getting rid of them made me feel so good; I'm actually wearing a pretty bra today; it's been a long time since I've been able to do that. I'd gotten too big for pretty bras; I was stuck in utilitarian ones. I've got a few more sizes in my drawer to get through before I buy any new ones, but I'm already thinking about how much fun it will be.

Pretty bras. Who knew that could be such a motivator?

A little adventure

2011-01-29T17:06:00.000-08:00

We were both feeling a bit restless today; we wanted to get out and do something different. We're very lucky to live in an area with abundant open spaces. There are so many, in fact, that it can be hard to choose just one.

Today we decided to go to San Antonio Lake. California has been suffering form drought for several years now; this December we had a lot of rain, and it was good to see more water in the lake this year. It's currently at 54% of capacity, and if we get another good stretch of rainy weather, it will go even higher than that. But never mind the data; it was good to get out of our own backyard and into nature.

We saw several herds of deer, including this gorgeous buck; I wanted to get closer so that the picture would be better, but I was afraid of spooking him. There are lots of deer in this area, but this was the first time I've ever seen a buck. There were two of them, actually - but the other one went behind a tree and I couldn't get his picture. We usually just see the does and the fawns; the bucks don't come out in the open very much.

We also enjoyed the ground squirrels; squirrels are such silly creatures. They were chasing each other all over the place and running like mad with their tails straight up in the air. We also saw a lot of magpies; I love their gorgeous black and white plumage and the way they whirl around, showing off.

We stayed until it started getting cold; once the sun gets low in the sky this time of year, the temperature drops rapidly. We weren't dressed for that, so we got back in the car and headed home. I love my town, but it's nice to be able to get out and feel as though we are miles and miles away from civilization.

Being close to nature soothes my soul.

Garden notes

2011-01-26T16:44:00.001-08:00

Our winter garden is growing nicely; here's a shot of the brussels sprouts. No sprouts on them yet, but I think we'll have some before the end of next month. The broccoli is starting to bud; in a few days, I'll start picking. The collards are getting bigger; I'll be able to take a few leaves from them by the end of the week. The chard - a leftover from last winter - is still growing like mad and producing far more than we can eat. I like chard, but not every day!

Yesterday I planted two rows of spinach and a row of lettuce, and today I planted a long row of peas. It might be too early for them, but the weather has been so lovely that I decided to plant them and see how it goes. Volunteer lettuce plants are already coming up where some seeded last year; I'm going to trust that they know what they're doing. If it turns cold on us again, I can always replant. If it doesn't, then we'll have a nice long season of spring veggies.

It gets hot here pretty early, so the season is usually short, especially for the peas; fresh peas are so good, though, that they're worth it. This year, I'm trying an experiment; I'm planning on planting the tomatoes in front of the peas. While the tomatoes are growing, I expect the peas to finish off; I've got a sturdy wire and steel trellis for them to grow on, and, as the tomatoes grow, I'll tie them to the steel posts that support the trellis.

We're eating through the veggies that I put in the freezer, and looking forward to having fresh ones very soon.

Patience

2011-01-22T11:31:00.001-08:00

All my life, people have accused me of being a patient person. And then, they're surprised to find out that I'm a very impatient person. They can become very annoyed with me upon that discovery; I can't count how many times I've had someone say, "You work with things that take forever to finish; what do you mean, you're not a patient person?"

Because finishing is inconsequential to me.

I don't need to finish something; I just need to see change. I don't care if the change is measured in millimeters or miles; I can keep working on something for years as long as every thing I do makes it look just a little bit different. I've chosen this picture of the amaryllis in my window to illustrate the point; it sat there, doing nothing, for weeks. And then, all of a sudden, it's growing. I know, from experience, that every day when I come into my studio from here on out, it will look different. Every day, that stalk will grow an inch or two until the day that the bud on top splits open and flowers. The flowers will last for awhile, the stalk will no doubt become top heavy and tip the whole pot over if I don't figure out how to stabilize it before then, and then the flowers will die, the leaves will form, and it will be just another bit of greenery in my window. I was impatient for it to start, but I won't need any patience for the rest of its bloom period.

It's the same thing with beading. I rarely ever make anything that can be finished in a day, but even a few stitches create a very satisfying change in the work. Truth be told, I'm almost sad when I do finish a piece; I miss watching it change. I do wear jewelry - sometimes - but most of my pleasure comes from working on it and watching a pile of beads on my table become a piece of jewelry. I don't need any patience when things change so quickly.

And that brings me to the reason that I'm thinking about patience this morning. As you have no doubt realized, I've been alerted to the fact that I need to lose weight. That's a hard one for me, because change happens so slowly. I'm only a couple of days into it, and already I'm impatient for change. Shouldn't my clothes feel looser? Shouldn't I be dropping a size any minute now? Shouldn't I look different? Shouldn't I feel different? Shouldn't something have changed by now?

Well, no. No, not really. This is going to take patience, and patience is something I simply do not have. But I'm going to have to find some, and I'm going to have to find it quickly.

Told you I wasn't a patient person.

Walking, walking, walking

2011-01-21T14:55:00.001-08:00

The Salinas River runs close to our house; it's a seasonal river here, and it's dry most of the year. But this is the rainy season, and we had a very wet December, so there's plenty of water in it right now.

One of the really nice things our town has done is to lightly develop the riverside; there are trails and the occasional picnic table or bench in the fields near the river, and a few access points with trails down to the river itself. I decided to kick off my new exercise program with a walk along the river; it was so nice out, I'm really glad I did.

Because my husband came along, the pace was brisk; the man does not know how to walk slowly. Nor does he know how to take a short walk, so we covered a few miles. Walking in the sandy areas gave my leg muscles an extra workout, but it was worth it; the river is so pretty this time of year, especially so now, because we're enjoying unseasonably warm weather.

We saw numerous birds, including a red-tailed hawk, and a rather confused jackrabbit that ran across our path and then back again. It felt really good to get out in the sunshine and walk!

It's a plot

2011-01-20T16:15:00.000-08:00

Or not.

I've been feeling fine about my weight, because I wear size 8 jeans. How bad could it be if I can wear a size 8? (No, I don't wear a size 8 top. I wear a medium, or sometimes even a large. But I'm able to rationalize that. I'm busty. That's okay, right?)

Well, yesterday I went to the doctor for a check up, and somehow I weigh more that I thought I did. Rather a lot more, actually. Nearly 30 pounds more. So I did some research and found out that the size four I wore 20-30 years ago would now be called a 0 or a 1. My size 8 is the equivalent of a size 12, back in the day.

Oh. My. Goodness.

How did that happen? I know how the weight happened; too much food and not enough dancing. But how did something as sacred as clothing sizes shrink so rapidly? It's not new; from the 1950s to the 1970s, a size 12 went down to a size 10. But it didn't stop there; sizes have dropped four more times in the past 30-40 years.

No wonder I've been able to wear the same size for so long, even though my old pants are too tight. And here I've been blaming the dryer. My jeans weren't shrinking, but the sizes were.

Time to shrink me, instead.

More trees

2011-01-17T14:53:00.000-08:00

We planted three more trees in our little orchard today; a Black Jack fig, a Wonderful pomegranate, and a Spice Zee nectaplum.

So what's a nectaplum, you ask? Obviously, its a cross between a nectarine and a plum; I don't know any more about it than that. The advertising copy makes it sound very delicious; but advertising copy makes everything sound delicious.

We figured that since we like nectarines and plums, we'll probably like nectaplums. And it's something different; not something we'll see in every grocery store. We like to be a little bit different.

I'm going to have to learn how to juice pomegranates when they come in; right now the pomegranate tree is a stick, and we won't see much, if any, fruit for at least a few years. But, eventually, it will get big and it will produce more than we can eat. I figure I have a few years before I need to find out how to make juice, but I'm looking forward to having my own fresh pomegranate juice. It's unbelievably yummy mixed with champagne.

This year, we're hoping to get some apples, pears, nectarines, apricots and cherries; last year we had a nice peach harvest and a few white figs, but the rest of the trees weren't quite ready to produce. We did have one cherry, but a bird got it before we did. This year, we hope to get at least a few more.

It's fun growing our own food; we're not quite self-sustaining, but we do grow a lot of what we eat. Once the fruit trees start producing more than we can eat out of hand, I'm looking forward to making juices and ciders.

I might even have to learn how to make wine.

The chicken or the egg?

2011-01-13T10:48:00.001-08:00

Designing beadwork is a very interactive process for me; quite often one design builds upon another, incorporating bits and pieces here and there from other things I have already done. Some days the process feels like I'm riding a barge down a river; as I go around each bend, I see new sights and my work changes to include them.

These variations on designs gradually become new designs; most of the time I keep the variations to myself and only show my work when it has turned the corner, left its origins behind, and become something new in its own right. This time, I'm breaking that long-standing tradition; this bracelet is the precursor to my latest design, and, although I'm calling it a variation of that design, it actually came first.

I'm the designer here; if I want to alter the timeline, I can.

Anyway, there's a really good reason why this one has to be labeled a variation, even though it came first. See the cute little beaded bead balancing on the top of the bangle? And the giant beaded bead that it's leaning against? Those aren't my designs. They're called Infinity Dodecahedrons, and they're the work of the mathematical masterminds behind beAd Infinitum. I had to come up with a new focal for this bracelet before I could write up a pattern for it.

But, in the interest of keeping at least one part of the story straight, I'm publishing this one here before publishing the final design to my Jewelry Tales blog.

Yup, you saw it here first.

My muse has been on holiday

2011-01-07T17:24:00.000-08:00

Last week we went down to San Diego, and I think my muse kept going and ended up in Tijuana. She'd been sulking and refusing to work for most of December; she has not been herself for quite awhile, actually.

She needed a vacation, and I know better than to ask where she's been. There are some things that I'm just better off not knowing.

She's back now, and she brought me a new bangle idea to make up for her recent behavior. She knows I'm a sucker for bangles. I've finished one, and am working on writing the tutorial while I make another.

I haven't stopped to take photos; I haven't had time. I've been beading and writing pretty much constantly for the past two days. I will probably take pictures of the first one in a day or two, depending on how the beading and writing goes on the second one.

I'm having so much fun being creative again.

I've got famous friends!

2011-01-03T13:32:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy for two of my friends and fellow Bead Mavens that I could just burst. Not only are they wonderful people whose presence in my life I cherish, but they've also been recognized by one of the best beaders in the business for their gorgeous beadwork.

Mikki Ferrugiaro and Nancy Dale have just been named up and coming beader/designers by Marcia DeCoster, author of Marcia DeCoster’s Beaded Opulence, on the Lark Crafts Site.

And, without any further ado, here is a little eye candy from the Artfire shops of these wonderful women (to see even more, click on their names and you will be whisked off to their shops):

Royal Amethyst Lariat by Nancy

Kimono Royale with Geisha Bow from Mikki

Barrel Urn Beaded Vessel by Nancy

Victoria Vintage Style Tile bracelet from Mikki

Experimenting

2010-12-29T15:49:00.000-08:00

I've got a rather large number of silver-lined, bright green beads that are either of Chinese manufacture, or Czech before they started to care about uniformity.

You're seeing only a small number of them in this picture; there are lots more hiding in my drawer. I like the color, but I'm not crazy about the idea of culling them; they are terribly irregular in size. And they're very, very bright; silver-lined beads are always bright, but these seem to be brighter than usual. I've been passing them over for a long time; wondering if I should just get rid of them, or let them stay, taking up space.

Did I mention that I have quite a lot of them?

So, yesterday I had an idea. I've started a new piece; it's to be completely beadwoven and contain ceramic and lampwork focal beads. It's going to be a medium-big piece, but the focal beads are heavy, so it needs a lot of structure. A lot of structure that isn't going to show . . . do you see where I'm going here?

I'm hoping that these bright green silver-lined beads will reflect light up into the piece when it's done and create a subtle glow. That may be too much to expect; I'm prepared to cover every inch of them with other beads if they turn out to be less of a design element and more of a distraction. But, regardless of whether or not any of them end up being seen in the final product, I'm using them.

Without culling. Well, at least without very much culling. The really bizarre ones do have to go.

Ghost of Christmas Past

2010-12-08T10:02:00.001-08:00

"And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care . . ."

That turned out to be the hard part.

The little tree with all my favorite glass ornaments and a ton of glass icicles went up very happily in my new studio; that was new, and I loved bringing Christmas into my new space. We bought our big tree for the hall early; it isn't decorated yet, but that's only because decorating the tree requires scheduling. It's the one part of Christmas decorating that I don't do all by myself.

The wreath is on the door, and the plants have their decorative stakes; the nativity and winter scenes are arranged; the dining table is dressed; the little trees at the top of the stairs are decorated, and the dolls and toys have been arranged beneath them. The pine cone candy basket that my sister made is on the coffee table; the little train set runs around it, as it always has. The poinsettia is on the bar, the M&Ms are in the little candy dish, and the Santa plate is filled with cookies.

But the box with the stockings in it sat, untouched, for days.

I just couldn't do it.

This is the first year that my daughter won't be home for Christmas; she's with her boyfriend, on the other side of the country. We're happy for her; she's a grown up, and she's where she needs to be right now . . . but seeing her Christmas stocking brought more than a few tears to my eyes.

It seems like just yesterday that I made it for her; just yesterday that she waited impatiently on the stairs on Christmas morning for the signal to run as fast as she could to see what Santa had brought. Her stocking is the green one on the right; see Santa on it? She loved visiting Santa; when she was in kindergarten, she and I visited every Santa in town. I don't think we missed a single one.

Her stocking will remain empty on our mantlepiece this year; Santa will have real snow to get through when he visits her.

Exclamation points

2010-12-06T10:02:00.000-08:00

!

They're getting out of control.

I've noticed them creeping into my writing; not just one of them, but two, three, six or nine of them to punctuate a single sentence. When I see that happening, I'm starting to hit the delete key; really, there are very few times that I'm that surprised, shocked or delighted. It seems that, like potato chips, when it comes to exclamation points: one is no longer enough.

I never used to use exclamation points at all; I had it drilled into me that it was far better to use words to convey excitement than punctuation. I seem to have grown lazy; my sentences are getting shorter and my punctuation is getting longer. I don't like what that says about me; I want to express my feelings, not rely on a generic punctuation mark.

So that's my resolution for 2011; to eliminate the effusive use of exclamation points and get back to using my words.

Following directions

2010-12-02T09:29:00.001-08:00

It's relaxing sometimes, y'know?

I'm not very far along on this one, but it kept my sanity intact while judging the Ice Queen Challenge. There were so many gorgeous entries; it's a total cliche, I know, but I wish we could have declared all of them winners. There wasn't a piece entered whose merits we didn't debate; it was terribly hard to choose just three winners. We were still debating it less than an hour before it was time to announce.

But that's neither here nor there.

I've actually used two tutorials from two different shops to make this little snippet; I will be adding more sections until it's long enough to wear as a necklace. The beaded bead is beAd Infinitum's Ionic Octahedra, and the rope is a variation of NEDBeads' Trellis Series Necklace. I used the beaded beads in place of the crystals in the rope, and made it a little bit bigger around to balance the beaded beads. Both changes were super-easy to make; this rope has room for a lot of variations.

I'm not normally very good at following directions, but when my mind is occupied with other things, it's a real relief to have something to do with my hands that doesn't involve thinking. Using a tutorial is like stepping into another artist's brain; it's very inspiring once the need for relaxation has worn off.

No goats were harmed in the making of this bracelet

2010-11-25T13:56:00.000-08:00

That's probably one of the odder disclaimers I've ever had to make; but I fear it is going to be necessary.

I'm getting close to finishing my original Ice Queen Challenge piece, and just this morning I got the brilliant idea to incorporate some angora goat hair into the clasp. It's gorgeous, but it looks rather like fur, and I fear that in order not to freak people out, I really must explain.

No goats were harmed in the making of this bracelet.

Many years ago my mom had a pet angora goat. Giselle was a beautiful animal, and lived a long, and very pampered life. Every year, her long hair was trimmed to keep her cool in summer, and one year, I took home a lovely bag full. No, I don't spin, but it's so pretty and soft, and I just knew that I would have some use for it, other than simply stroking it; which, come to think of it, is not a terribly bad use for it, in any case.

I did use some of it to make Santa's beard when I knit my daughter's Christmas stocking, but, other than that, it's just been for petting. Until this morning, that is, when I suddenly decided to sew some of it onto this bracelet. I had planned to do bead embroidery on that section, but it just seemed too cold. I wanted something furry and soft on this cuff. I thought about using rabbit fur, but I really didn't want to. It didn't feel right.

Giselle's hair, on the other hand, is perfect. It's soft, curly, and very touchable. And, best of all:

No goats were harmed in the making of this bracelet.

Bookmark this

2010-11-20T12:27:00.000-08:00

Here's a quick and easy gift to make for all those teachers, babysitters, and other people who are on your list. If you really like them, give them a book to use it with, too.

First, you'll need a nice big focal bead. I made this one from a pattern by Gwen Fisher of beAd Infinitum; it's called Time Machine.

I made a few mistakes while making it, but it's still a nice-looking bead. I didn't even realize the mistakes I'd made until I tried the pattern for the second time, so it's a very forgiving pattern. Let's just call it a variation, okay?

Anyway, you'll also need an elastic head band, some 20 gauge wire, some chain, head pins and crystals for embellishments, and a nice big, thick jump ring.

Use your 20 gauge wire to make a wrapped loop on each side of your focal bead. Before wrapping the bottom loop, slip a small length of chain into the loop.

Use the head pins and the crystals to make wrapped loops that attach to various links of the chain. Pearls or gemstones would make nice dangles, too. Or you can skip the chain and embellishments for a more tailored look.

Open the large jump ring, and slip it through the loop on the top of the bead and the elastic headband. Close the jump ring. Wrap the 20 gauge wire around the elastic headband a few times, just above the large jump ring, and hide the ends inside the elastic.

Put it on a book, or pop it in a bag, and you're done!

Happy Holidays!!

Who me, naive?

2010-11-15T16:03:00.000-08:00

Erm, yes. Apparently so.

I had no idea that there was a secret underground of people who exchanged scanned copies of patterns, magazines and books over the Internet until someone clued me in that my patterns, photos, and name were being used without my permission on one of these sites.

I'm not going to name names, or provide links; I don't want to give them any viewers or publicity. Contact me privately if you are concerned that your copyrighted material may have been stolen, and I'll give you a link to get you started looking.

I'm not really all that surprised that this is happening; there are lots of people who want to own things they haven't paid for. There are lots of people who think that just because they can scan a printed page, or email a PDF, they have the right to do so. I get that; or at least I thought I did.

Until I spent some time this afternoon, digging a little bit deeper, and I found the names of people I had considered my friends and acquaintances participating in this activity. They're not face-to-face friends, or close friends, but they are people whom I've been in contact with via email and on beading forums; some of them are people I have "known" for years.

That made me very sad. I'd expected better from them. If you are reading this, and you have been exchanging patterns, magazines and books over the Internet; please think about what you are doing to your friends. Even if you have never exchanged one of my patterns, it made me very sad to see your name linked with someone who has.

It's wrong, y'know.

Weight problems

2010-11-08T16:34:00.001-08:00

I went to a birthday party for my Grandmother yesterday, and saw members of my family that I haven't seen in 20 or even 30 years. It was so much fun catching up with everyone; for the most part, I enjoyed myself throughly.

With one, rather weighty, exception.

There are some members of my family who have a serious weight problem. By that, I mean, they have a serious problem with other people's weight. I hadn't really noticed it before, because when I was young, I was very thin. I was too thin; it wasn't something I tried to be, I just grew 9 inches in about a year, and it took the rest of me a decade or two to catch up.

To give you a little perspective, I was 5'7" and wore a size one in 1976; before women's sizes started to relax and stretch. I didn't break 100 pounds until I was in my 20s. I was very, very thin. Over the years, I celebrated when I gained weight; I was very happy to find myself fitting into bigger clothes. I'm now on the slightly higher side of normal weight; I could lose a few pounds and get back into the middle of the range, but I'm not stressing over it.

I like my curves, and so does my husband.

So, after being on the other side of the country for nearly 20 years, and not seeing my extended family during that time, it was a bit of a shock to me to see how interested several of them were in other people's weight. It wasn't just me whose weight was noticed; almost everyone came in for a choice remark or two.

At first I was a bit hurt and shocked. But then I thought about it, and I realized that I like myself just the way I am. I'm healthy and happy and I enjoy my life. I don't want to be like the people they pointed to as examples; they're too thin. They work too hard at it.

Weight just isn't a problem for me.

Beading Backwards

2010-11-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

I've been having a dickens of a time working on my Ice Queen Challenge; I've been feeling very twitchy and haven't been able to sit and work comfortably on it. I start in on it, then suddenly find myself overwhelmed with the conviction that I must do something else, right now; and off I go to do whatever it is that has raised itself to the top of my priority list.

Well, I've finally figured out what's bugging me. When I bead, I always start with the focal and bead outwards. Always. But, for this piece, a key component of my focal is off riding the rails with other delinquent packages in transit with USPS; it's not here, and I can't make the focal without it.

However, since the challenge deadline is November 28th, I couldn't keep waiting for it; I freeze up when deadlines loom, and I need to be well on my way with it early, or I will panic and not be able to do anything. So, I decided, hang the focal, I'm going to start with the rest of it. Who knew that would make me so twitchy?

Paradoxically, now that I've finally realized what's bugging me, I can bead (and breathe!) easier. I've gotten more done this morning than I did all week. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to find that package in my mailbox today and get going on the focal this afternoon; I don't like beading backwards.

But at least now I know why I've been having trouble sitting still for it.

Gotta love the post office

2010-11-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

Or not.

I'm waiting on a package containing a key element of my Ice Queen Challenge piece, and, according to the tracking, it's gone right past me, twice; from northern California, to southern California, and back up to northern California. I am, of course, in central California. California is a very long state; it's made quite a journey bypassing me twice! And to top it all off, the trail has grown cold. No scanning has been done since October 27.

My package has been in transit for 15 days now.

I'm starting to get worried. My piece has been built around the idea of this component; it won't work without it.

Please, Mr. Postman . . .

We've got a website!

2010-10-31T13:57:00.001-07:00

The Bead Mavens are now on the web; you can visit us there and find all the information you need about our Ice Queen Challenge.

Seeing Mikki and Peter's gorgeous creations makes me want to work harder on mine! I'm still waiting on one component of it, however, so I really can't work much faster than I have been. I'm hoping that the big brown truck with the guy in the cute shorts will stop at my house tomorrow with a package for me.

In the meantime, I will keep beading the bits I can until my special component arrives. Go take a look at our site, and happy beading on your Ice Queen.

say what?

2010-10-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

There's something in the air today.

It started this morning, when my husband read his horoscope. It said that he would, "radiate contentment and anger." We had a good laugh over that one; I mean, how is that possible? How can anyone be content and angry at the same time?

Later events (fortunately not on the part of my husband, he is his usual self today!) made me realize that such an odd combination can, indeed, be possible. I have an acquaintance who is a drama queen. She stages fortnightly events that are most likely for the purpose of making her feel reassured; she has a huge tantrum, calls everything unfair, claims everyone is against her, and, by the end of it, everyone is trying to comfort her.

She appears to be quite content with her anger. I'm not. I'm tired of the drama; I'm worn out by her angry words. I'm sorry she's upset; it's too bad that she's unhappy. But - and this is a big but - her dissatisfaction doesn't give her the right to mess with my mind on what has become a fairly regular basis.

I'm all there when my friends need me, but I'm tired of having that need manufactured. That's a big step for me. Like I said in the beginning, there's something in the air today.

Breathe deeply.

Sedona

2010-10-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

We took an unscheduled trip; we hopped in the car and ended up in Sedona. I think I love unplanned trips the best; it's fun to just head out and end up wherever we end up.

Of course, it doesn't always work out when we do that, but this time everything went perfectly. Our hotel was at the base of one of the wonderful red rock formations, and we enjoyed taking the hiking trail that started just outside our room. We also enjoyed gallery hopping and shopping.

We had to scrap our plans to stay in Flagstaff, however, as they were expecting snow. We remember snow, and we'd like to keep it a memory! Sedona was lovely and warm with gorgeous thunderstorms in the late afternoon; it was so much fun to watch them roll in over the hills.

It's an interesting time in our lives; we've only got one of our kids left at home, and he's barely here between his active social life and full-time job. I miss them, but it's fun to be able to take off at a moment's notice, too. I bought some gorgeous beads in Sedona; once I've finished the piece I'm working on, I'm going to make myself a necklace.

Red rocks, and stormy skies.

Note to self:

2010-10-14T15:52:00.000-07:00

Don't use dyed beads on a design where the beads have no choice but to rub against each other.

Well, not if you want to color to last long enough to actually finish the piece.

'Nuff said.

Try, try again

2010-10-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

If you remember my post from the other day, about how I always start with the stupidest way to do something, you'll be glad to know that I have found a much better way to do it. I scrapped the first mess and started again; no, you won't get to see a photo because this time it's working, and it will eventually become a pattern.

Then you can see it.

Of course, I also saw something today that got my mind moving on a new project, so I must bead as fast as I can to finish this one off so that I can start the next one. I both love it and hate it when that happens; I love knowing that I don't have to worry about not getting an idea for the next project, but, at the same time, it's hard for me to carry two projects in my mind at the same time.

This time it's not that difficult, though. The current project is now past the design stage and into the execution phase; I don't anticipate any redesigning or major changes in it. The next project is still in the nebulous, "oh, yes, I want to do something like that," phase and will need lots of thinking before I find a starting place.

But still: I think I need to bead faster.

Pioneer Day, 2010

2010-10-09T17:49:00.000-07:00

It's Pioneer Day in Paso Robles, where the slogan is, "Leave your pocketbook at home."

That's because everything you want is free today; if what you want is a parade and a bowl full of baked beans. You can have a pot or a kettle full of beans if you bring your own pot or kettle - no charge - and the parade lasted for two hours this year, so that should be plenty of entertainment to satisfy anyone.

In the parade we had tractors, horses, kids, roller derby, more tractors, marching bands, scouts, lodges, shriners and more tractors. There were so many people in the parade, it was amazing that there was anyone left to watch it. I think the whole town turned out, however, and the sidewalks were packed. We found some nice seats on the curb and had a wonderful time.

After the festivities, we decided to indulge in a visit to a winery; that wasn't free, but the tasting fee was applied to our purchase, so now we have some lovely new wines to enjoy at home.

I always do things the hard way

2010-10-07T16:08:00.001-07:00

It's a funny thing about designing; the first time I do something, it's like pulling teeth. No matter where I start, I always manage to find the hardest way to do it.

Take this little bit of beading.

I'm quite sure that I have found the most difficult and stupid way to assemble it; I will definitely not do it that way again. Can we say tangled thread, bits sliding off and a general mess, not once, but several times? However, by the time I've tinkered with it a few dozen times, I am quite sure that I will magically hit on a simple way to assemble it that is completely unknown to me right now.

How do I know this?

Because it happens every time. The instructions I write up skip all the stupid bits; they make it look easy. But actually, I go through quite a lot of beading contortions before I figure out an easy way to do something. I always seem to start the hard way; I don't know why that is, but it is what it is.

Cue Tina Turner . . . only backwards. I start rough, but I finish nice and easy.

I'm a Bead Maven!

2010-10-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

Something very exciting has happened; I've been asked to join a wonderful group of fabulous bead weavers and teachers for a joint venture.

We're just in the very beginning stages so far, so I have no concrete details to give you yet, but the ideas that have been floating around are fabulous.

You can find all of the Bead Mavens on Facebook and on our blog. We'll be updating you there as things happen; with this group, things are sure to happen fast!

I can't wait to see what the future brings; I have a feeling it's going to be an exciting year.

Shining sky

2010-10-03T18:18:00.001-07:00

I took this photo last night, but it was such an interesting night, I didn't get a chance to unload it and make a blog post.

After this beautiful bright early evening sky, we had a wonderful, far off thunder and lightning storm; we sat on our porch half the night and watched the show.

Apparently, it poured down rain about 15-20 miles south of us; we didn't get a drop. But it sure was a gorgeous show; great long forks of lightning lit up the sky and the thunder rumbled like bowling balls hitting the pins. We stayed out way past our bed time, enjoying it.

We loved thunderstorms when we lived in New York, but we didn't appreciate them the way we do now. They're rare here; in New York, they are as common as dirt.

Funny how much more important that makes taking the time to enjoy it.

Bead porn

2010-09-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

You knew it existed.

Did you think it would be like this?

Even I am shocked. I've unpacked all my lampwork beads and put them in a drawer (no, I will not tell you which drawer, that is a state secret) and now I can pore over them, raggedly mumbling, "my presiousssss . . ." for hours on end.

And, since I can see them easily and often, I may even use some. Actually, I figure I'm going to have to use some, or the drawer will fill up and I won't be able to buy any more.

We all know what a tragedy that would be.

As you can see, they are neatly organized; I string them on pipe cleaners and attach a tag at the end with the artist's name on it. When I have a card, I punch a hole in that and use it. They're not organized by color or anything, but that's okay. When I use lampwork, I usually start with the lampwork beads and match other beads to it.

Now, where shall I start?

Snapshot

2010-09-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

I have a new cellphone that takes pictures and sends them to my computer via bluetooth.

Pretty fancy, eh?

Don't tell me that you've been doing it for years; I've only recently given in to carrying a cell phone at all, and now I'm texting and taking pictures with it.

If it strapped to my wrist, I'd think I was Dick Tracy.

I took this photo while taking the garbage out; the sky was so pretty, even though, surprisingly enough, it really didn't color up much. I don't know why; it was cloudy enough, but it just sorta went from blue to grey to dark. No reds, no oranges.

It was another really hot day here today; it's still warm out there. Usually by now we've got a breeze and it's cooler, but not tonight. I guess summer's just late this year.

Busy, busy, busy

2010-09-27T18:37:00.001-07:00

Hmm. Seems I've used that title before; I typed "Bu" and up it came. No matter; it still works.

We spent the weekend up in the Sequoias; no computers, no cell phones. It was lovely to step off the treadmill of life, but today, I'm back on it with a vengeance. I'm working on an article for a European magazine; it's for a necklace that I hadn't taken notes on, so I'm reverse-engineering myself.

I'm actually making it in a much more organized way this time; the original had quite a few "by gosh or by golly" moments that have been smoothed out this go around. I've also changed the color scheme, and put in pearls in place of the crystals; I'm writing the instructions for both options, so this one will be a necklace and a variation.

The magazine article is scheduled for Spring; I've been beading and writing like a madwoman today. I want to get it done and sent off as quickly as possible so that they will have plenty of time to prepare it for publication.

Then it will be back to finishing up my "Darkness" tutorial. It went into a holding pattern when the magazine article came up.

Lunatic fringe

2010-09-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

I'm fringing today. Long, lovely strands of seed bead fringe; it's been ages since I made a fringe this long and lush. I don't know why I suddenly stopped adding long fringe to pieces; but, looking back, it's been awhile.

Maybe I stopped doing it because it's a pain to get right. I know, it couldn't be easier; just count, and make sure to go through every bead, but, for me, it's a hard element to get right. It's a slow process, and I'm not a patient person. Sometimes, making fringe gives me just too much time to think.

I haven't wanted to think for awhile; I've wanted to keep my mind occupied. I still feel that way, actually; but I needed to fringe this piece, and I guess I probably needed to think, as well.

It's time.

I'm beading as fast as I can

2010-09-15T17:20:00.000-07:00

I'm almost finished with the structural part of my Haute Couture contest entry; one side is done, and the other is lacking only the last element.

I'm trying to get it finished as soon as I can; I have the possibility of an exciting new opportunity on the horizon; if it comes to fruition, I will need to spend quite a lot of my time on it over the next month or two. I've also got a couple of new projects that I'm in the process of turning into tutorials; I need to find some time to finish those, as well.

But right now, I'm caught up in my contest entry.

I love making big, over the top pieces. They're fun and exciting; although they take weeks (and even months!) of beading to make, I love watching them grow and change. I never know at the beginning of the day what it will look like by the end; I love the twists and turns that these big pieces go through. It's like reading a novel; the plot develops gradually and I don't want to put it down.

But just as my eyes will close while reading, my hands (and back!) need breaks from the beads. It's time to take a little walk; the beads will be here when I return.

Haute Couture

2010-09-12T18:10:00.000-07:00

I'm still working on my contest entry for the Haute Couture Beading Contest; it's coming along slowly, but it's gradually taking shape. I have to confess that I've been haunting the site, looking at the entries on a regular basis to see if anyone has used "my" picture yet.

I am very happy to report that they haven't. I have no clue why that matters to me; there is no rule that says that only one person can use a photo. But I am hoping against hope that no one else picks the same one as me. I'm sure we'd do very different piects; I'm sure that a dozen people could pick the same photo and come up with entirely different ideas.

Okay, I'm not that sure.

It could happen.

I'd better get back to beading now.

My room

2010-09-11T20:15:00.000-07:00

Here it is; my very own studio. I love my new workbench; I have lots of drawers, and two separate work stations.

That means no more beads in the keyboard!

It also means that I get up and stretch more often, as I move from beading station to computer and back again. That's always been one of my biggest problems; I get involved in what I am doing, and I forget to get up and move around.

It's so nice to have room to spread out, and someplace quiet to go when I want to work. My family can cook, eat and watch movies without stumbling over me and my beads, and I can work in peace without being stumbled over.

It's a good thing.

Nearly done

2010-09-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

Simply put, I've been working like a madwoman. My studio is nearly done; I have a few odds and ends to move yet from the infamous cupboard under the stairs, but the furniture is in place, I have hung some pictures, and made a new cover for the old futon.

I've even put a lovely (and very fragrant) vase of roses and lavender on my workbench. My twelve-foot-long workbench. That's nearly four meters for those of you who speak metric.

I can't believe it's mine!

In the white room

2010-09-08T06:31:00.000-07:00

If you were a little girly-girl in the 1960s, I'm sure you remember the White Bedroom Suite. It had everything a girl wanted, and it was white. Pure, pristine, and feminine. The canopy bed was a froth of lace; the dressing table had a mirror over it, and the desk was a confection that would thrill any girl into doing homework.

Of course I wanted it. I don't know if the girl in the frilly pink robe with the beautiful doll was in the ads, or a product of my imagination, but she was my idea of perfection. I knew that if I had a room like that, I would keep it spotlessly clean and I would be happy forever.

It was not to be. Looking back, it was an utterly impractical room for a real little girl, but it entered my consciousness in a way that even Barbie couldn't touch. I don't long for an impossible figure; I want an impossible room.

I've updated that dream; the canopy bed has been jettisoned, and I no longer have any use for a dressing table. But I now own a white work area in my brand-new studio. It has two workstations flanked by three storage sections; I have nine small drawers, two large drawers, and a bookshelf shelf. (Or I will, once I finish putting the drawers together!)

It's white, but it's a practical white; it's all powder coated, so it's easy to wipe up any spills. It certainly cost less than any single component of my dream bedroom; but it's perfect. My workstations are high enough to work either standing up, or perched on a stool; and one workstation is under a north window with a view of the hills.

It's a dream come true.

Easily amused

2010-09-05T16:25:00.000-07:00

I've just found the special characters menu on my computer; it's been there quite awhile, but I didn't know it was there. That may have been a good thing, as I'm sure to annoy people by using it for awhile.

So, now I can type things like this: ♥
or this: ☺

or this: ✄

or this: ✐

There are quite a few new toys for me to play with.

{Did I mention that I'm easily amused?}

Just keep swimming

2010-09-01T18:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when I keep going, trying to make things right, it just doesn't work. I throw good beads in after bad, and, in the end, everything has to come out anyway. It's worse, of course, when I've suspected all along that it was going to happen that way.

Other times, it works.

Happily, I'm in the second position tonight; the first three rows were iffy, but now, with the beginning of the fourth row, I think it's going to work. I'm glad I didn't pull it all out; I'm glad I kept going.

It doesn't always turn out that way, you know.

Was there ever any doubt?

2010-08-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

Of course I'm going ahead with it. How could not? I've heard it said that a little bit of ugliness is what changes prettiness to great beauty; I'm hoping that's true. Haute Couture certainly has its own bits of ugliness, and the photo I've chosen is no exception.

But that's not what has convinced me to move ahead; oh, no, that's just the justification for it. I'm moving ahead because of my own innate tendency towards contrariness; it tickles my fancy to use something so very ugly in this way.

Is that how the designers feel? Do they enjoy startling people by inserting an element of ugliness? Is that what it's all about: daring people to look at prettiness marred, forcing them to consider ugliness turned beautiful?

I don't know if I can pull it off, but I'm going to try.

Ambushed by inspiration

2010-08-26T16:02:00.000-07:00

That's the only way I can describe it.

There is a contest that I've been wanting to enter, but I have been sadly lacking in inspiration. The contest is the Haute Couture Beading Contest, and, since it is all about providing inspiration, I'm quite horrified to admit that I just wasn't finding my way into it.

Until last night.

Yesterday, I received a packet of ugly beads as part of a fun challenge I'm participating in, called, of course, an Ugly Bead Swap. The idea is to send off a packet of ugly beads to another participant; by the time the postman has made his rounds, we will all be the proud owners of a pile of, well, ugly beads. You can see the beads that I received to the right of this paragraph.

Oddly enough, I like almost all of them. Okay, that's not entirely true; the orange beads in the middle of the far left column are ghastly. So ghastly, indeed, that I had to begin with them. There are two different types of beads in that bag; four very badly foiled Chinese lampwork flattened bicones and a string of neon orange and yellow oval glass coins.

They just cried out to become beaded beads. To be honest, one of us was crying; it may well have been me. Those lampwork beads are a sin against molten glass, and the coins are bright enough to stop traffic. After quite a few bad starts (and even worse finishes) I came up with a design that I liked. I thought that would be the end of it; I could toss it on a headpin, string it on a chain, call it a pendant, and fulfill my duties to the challenge. We don't have to use all of the beads; just some of them. I'd used the worst of them; surely that was above and beyond the call of duty?

And so, after settling my mind on that, I let my mouse wander off to other, more interesting, pursuits. Once again, I found myself looking closely at the inspiring photographs on the Haute Couture Beading Contest. And it was there that I was ambushed: my beaded bead of ugly beads called out to one of the photos and gave me an idea, all at once.

Do I dare use it?

One down

2010-08-20T16:16:00.001-07:00

Our daughter is moving out on her own very soon; she doesn't have a date yet, but it could be anytime in the next two weeks. We are giving her our old futon (also known as our living room couch), which meant that we had to find a new one.

No problem . . . or so we thought.

Yesterday we went down to the Futon Store, only to find that it had closed, lock, stock and barrel. No forwarding address; no suggestions of where people who are in dire need of new futons should go.

We looked, half-heartedly, at several regular sofas in regular furniture stores; we're just not upholstered people. We needed to find a futon store. I googled; there was one option listed near us. They had one left in the style we liked; we bought it and went off to get the jeep so that we could bring it home.

Sadly, by the time we returned with the jeep, they had uncrated it and discovered a problem. Since it was the last one, we had to cancel the deal and look elsewhere. We did a bit more looking at regular sofas; we just couldn't see ourselves owning them. And then, in desperation, we stopped at the local oak furniture store. We'd never seen a futon there before, but thought that perhaps they would have a sofa we could live with.

They had one futon in stock. Mission-style. We love it. It's in our living room already.

Waiting Game

2010-08-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine said recently, "I don't mind change, I just hate waiting for it."

Bingo; that's me in a nutshell. I like to just get on with it! Once I know change is upon me, I'm the first one over the wall, my hat sailing merrily before me. I hate to wait; I'm a do it now sort of person.

Oh, would that I were in control of the world! Change would occur at a dizzying rate; there'd be no waiting around for things to happen. Everyone would get things done and make things happen. The word "later" would be struck from our vocabulary.

Obviously, I've not been voted Queen of the World.

Neither have I been voted Queen of my little section of it.

So, here I sit: waiting most impatiently for change of which I am not the agent; suffering through the pain of watching other people miss deadlines and procrastinate their way through things they really ought to just do. I want to get moving on this.

I am not a patient person.

Preview

2010-08-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

I finished i!

And I spent all day today drawing diagrams and writing up my notes to make the tutorial.

I love the dark red crystals with the black beads; I don't do a lot of dark pieces, but I really like the way this one turned out.

It may have given me fits while I was working on it, but I love it now that it's done!

I got a good start on the tutorial today; I'll keep at it, and hopefully, I'll get it finished this week or next. I'm happy to say that the writing is going a lot better than the beading went!

This is why they pay me the big bucks*

2010-08-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

Over the years, I've had lots of people ask me how I come up with my designs; they seem to think that I know what I'm doing when I set out to make a piece of jewelry.

Listen up: my method is quite simple. Trial and error. Yup, that's it; I try something, and if I like it, I keep it and add something else to it. If I don't like it, I rip it out and try something different.

This is usually a pretty good method; most of the time, I like what I try more often than not. But not on this necklace. Whooee, nope, this one is 99% error. At every turn I've tried a dozen things and ripped them all out before finding one I could keep. I'm not sure what's up with that, but I'm hoping that my next project goes a lot smoother. It's taken weeks, and I haven't even begun to write the tutorial for it.

I'm almost done with it.

I think I've found the right thing to do to finish it off.

Wish me luck!

*Only kidding about the big bucks; I'm keeping my prices low. No need for everyone to suffer!

Wow. My "baby" is 18.

2010-08-09T18:04:00.000-07:00

How did that happen?

I know, I know: time passes. But really, it seems like just yesterday that she was small enough to carry around and tuck into bed. How many times did we read Elmo's Lift-and-Peek Around the Corner Book? Enough times so that I can close my eyes and see every page. I'm on to you, kid; I know it was a favorite because it took so long to get through and postponed your bedtime.

Now that she's 18, all I remember is the good stuff. The problems we had are irrelevant; she's 18 now. Not that I won't still worry, or want her to be safe and happy; but it's not my call in any way, any more. She's 18, and that means she's in charge of herself. My job description has changed; mom doesn't mean supervisor any more.

I get to cheer from the sidelines now.

You GO girl!!! You ROCK!!!

Is that a window?

2010-08-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned before, doors have been closing around me a lot lately. At first, I was upset about the changes; I failed "meets new situations with confidence" in kindergarten, and, although I've improved enormously since then, I do still find sudden change a bit upsetting. Especially when it comes roaring in at me, with anger, loud voices and a lot of drama.

Luckily, doors can also be closed quietly. Without drama, and without any noise. I can also close them myself. Quietly. Without drama.

Learning that, is a window opening.

Frying squash and other veggie tales

2010-08-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

It's been a good harvest in our garden; the artichokes and patty pan squash are coming in fast and furiously. I have accepted the title of hors d'oeuvres mistress, and I have to admit that I not only deserve it, but I'm doing my best to keep it.

Most of the hors d'oeuvres so far contain artichokes; the artichoke harvest has been very, very good. I've cut and cooked more than 50 so far; there are more out there, getting bigger every day. Not all of them have gone into hors d'oeuvres, however; about 30 of them have been frozen whole.

I've mixed them with all sorts of things; crab, garlic, poblano peppers, basil, and, of course, cheese. Cream cheese, mozzarella cheese, parmesan cheese; alone or in combination. I've fried them in wonton wrappers, rolled them up in puff pastry, and served them in a dip. I am nothing if not resourceful.

Today, however, the artichokes have been (temporarily) contained, and I have segued into the squash. I've been breading and deep frying it; whatever we don't eat right off, I'll put into the freezer for winter.

Waiting for windows

2010-07-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

When a door closes, a window opens.

We've all heard that one before, and it's very comforting to think that an opportunity is waiting for us when we lose something. I've been watching doors close lately; don't get me wrong, they're doors that need to close, but they're doors that I didn't want to close myself. It's scary to close doors, sometimes, even when they need to be closed.

I'm learning the difference between closing them nicely, slamming them, and leaving them off the latch. So far, I've resisted the temptation to turn the lock behind the door-slammers; the doors may be closing, but I don't really want to lock them. Okay, in the moment of slamming, I would love to turn the lock with a flourish, but I'm resisting that moment of evil satisfaction. They're all doors I wouldn't mind seeing open again some day, and I don't need to contribute to the negativity.

Of course, the rooms beyond them will no doubt undergo a redecorating project while their doors are closed. I may not even recognize them when the doors open again. That's okay. I'll be doing some redecorating on my side of the wall, too.

My rebellious nature

2010-07-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not good about doing what I'm told; even when I'm the one telling me. All I have to do is write a list and I am out of here, busily doing everything but what I've just written down. I sabotage myself; there's no two ways around it. I hate being told what to do, even when it's something I want to do.

I've reached this conclusion after something totally inexplicable happened. Along with a group of friends, I agreed to commit to doing something jewelry related every day this month. We agreed to share our progress, and let each other know how we were doing. You guessed it: I became a member of the jewelry fantasy league.

I did get a few things done, but not much. I found myself setting goals, and avoiding them. The beads did not call to me; instead, they hollered, "Get outta here! We want to be left alone."

And so I did. I've been out in the garden, I've been harvesting, cooking, and freezing veggies and appetizers. I have not been beading. And so, I decided to give up my commitment. And guess what happened?

Yup. I'm interested in beading again.

My garden

2010-07-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

Here's a photo of three of our four raised beds; I'm standing on the hill, looking down on them. Everything is growing like mad; it is so much fun to grow so much of our own food. Last night we had the first of the corn; it was so sweet and good.

Of course, one problem with a garden is that when it's ripe, it's all ripe. Today we picked a bushel or so of peaches; we'll be making everything we can think of that includes peaches for the next few days. There are still some left on the trees; we'll have another big picking and then they will be gone until next year.

Harvesting from the garden is different than harvesting from the grocery store.

Whew.

2010-07-10T18:33:00.000-07:00

I'm beading again. When I get away from it for awhile, I really miss it. I've been so busy for the past week or so; I've been beading only in my head. Sadly, those things didn't work. I tried to put them into reality today, but the beads just wouldn't do what I thought they could do.

Life's a lot like that.

Wouldn't it be fun if you could have a whole day where fantasy became reality? Where everything - and everyone - behaved exactly the way you imagined they could?

I wouldn't really want life to go like that all the time; oddly enough, I'd miss the element of surprise and the challenge of changing plans. I surprise myself by realizing that; but it's true. I like thinking on the fly.

Most of the time.

The last of the zucchini

2010-07-09T15:04:00.001-07:00

For today, anyway.

And probably only because I am not going out to look at the plants to see if any need to be picked. Nope, I'm going to savor my victory over that particular green vegetable, even though I know it is a hollow one, and undoubtedly short lived.

I used them to make these quiche, which have just come out of the oven and are sitting on my stove to cool. We will take a couple of pieces from one of them with us tonight to picnic on at the concert in the park; the other will go directly into the freezer for another time. I like having things in there that can be pulled out for dinner quickly and eaten without any fuss. And, I always figure: if I'm going to make one, I might as well make two.

Here's the recipe, if you'd like; it makes two. Of course. One for now, and another for later. Cut the ingredients in half if you only want to make one:

Two deep dish pie crusts (if you are using disposable pie tins, be sure to set them on a cookie sheet covered with foil before filling them. Uncooked custard is heavy and wobbly; those pans just can't cope without help.)
12 ounces evaporated milk
2 cups milk
6 eggs
1 tsp salt
garlic and oregano (or other herbs) to taste
grated mozzarella cheese
grated zucchini (courgette)

Fill each pie crust 1/4 of the way with grated cheese. Add enough zucchini to fill them about half or 2/3 of the way, depending on how much you've got. Toss the cheese and zucchini with a fork, being careful not to dig into the crust. You don't want to leave them in layers, but they don't have to be mixed perfectly, either.

In a bowl, slightly beat the eggs. Add the evaporated and regular milk and the salt. Mix well, but don't beat. Pour the custard over the cheese and zucchini mixtures until you've used it all, or the pans are filled up. Extra custard can be sweetened, flavored and baked for dessert - I didn't have any this time, though.

Bake for 50 minutes at 400°, or until the tops are well browned and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. If it hits some cheese and comes out with a cheesy spot, but the rest of it is clean, that counts as done. It should have a slight wiggle when you move it, but shouldn't look gooey.

Let cool a bit before cutting for best results; it can be served warm or at room temperature.

Our little friend

2010-07-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

Last month, in my post Wild Things, I told you about our new friend, RJ.

He's a scrub jay, and he's very friendly. It took awhile, but he now trusts us enough to land on our laps and take peanuts from our fingers. He likes to hide his treats in the garden; he will actually lift mulch in his beak and arrange it so that the ground looks undisturbed; he's very particular about his cache. Luckily, the peanuts are roasted; otherwise, I'm sure we'd be having them growing all over the place.

He's a greedy little thing; he'll fly back and forth as long as we keep handing him peanuts. When I'm working in the garden, he'll fly over to where I am and scold me; he's firmly convinced that my purpose in life is to feed the bird.

I'm likely to agree, some days.

Vegging out

2010-07-07T13:04:00.000-07:00

My meticulous garden is making lots of food. I have been harvesting every day; mostly green beans, artichokes and squash; though the strawberries and peaches have been steady, and the garlic all came due in one fell swoop. Now, of course, it's time to cook it and eat it; what we can't consume in a timely manner I am freezing.

Yesterday, I made roasted garlic and artichoke won tons in my new mini-deep fryer; what a difference it made! It's a lot less messy than trying to deep fry in a pot, and there's no guessing about the temperature. It's very small, so it doesn't use a lot of oil; I do have to fry in small batches, but that's okay. I never used a very large pot when I fried over the stove, so I'm used to small batches.

Today I'm frying patty pan squash in panko crumbs; I'm having fun with my new toy. But lest you think that everything I make is high calorie and deep fried, I must let you know that I also made a lovely bean salad today with roasted garlic and feta cheese, and I blanched three quarts of green beans for the freezer. We had them steamed last night at dinner, and by tomorrow there will, no doubt, be enough for another meal.

Tonight I'm going to make a pesto with more of the roasted garlic (yes, I roasted quite a lot of it!) and some basil from the garden. I've got some ravioli in the freezer, and we'll have it with a salad of baby lettuces and some of the roasted garlic and rosemary bread I made last night.

It's summer time, all right!

Me, meticulous?

2010-07-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

My sister looked at my garden the other day and said I was a meticulous gardener. My first thought was, I know some really meticulous gardeners, and I'm not even close!

And then I took a look around.

You know what? I am pretty meticulous. The tomatoes are tied neatly; the new supports are actually supporting them. The squash, melons and pumpkins have been trained to go in the directions I want them to go in; with the exception of some rebellious yellow squash that is taking liberties with the marigolds, they are all behaving rather well.

The weeds, for the most part, have been pulled; though sis did manage to find a rather large one pretending to be part of the rhubarb. The strawberries have their own bed, and the mint is held in check by a path that gets no water.

I'm still not up to Connecticut standards, but yeah: this garden merits meticulous.

Strawberry Margaritas and Fried Squash

2010-06-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

Yup, today's harvest was long on strawberries and squash. And since we're committed to eating (or drinking!) as much of the harvest as we can, we have had to get creative.

I breaded the sliced squash in panko crumbs for an appetizer (nearly a meal, actually!) and tossed the strawberries in the blender for a really intense strawberry margarita.

We've still got more squash to use; I think we will have zucchini bead and muffins in our future. I'm determined this summer!

(I'm cutting this short because my daughter has brought home a chick flick on video. We pulled the plug on television reception today, so it's movie night!)

I've got my mojo back

2010-06-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

. . . now I just need to figure out how to keep it!

I've been having lots of fun playing with beads and chain; there are three new tutorials in my Etsy shop:

I've started on a necklace today, with the same technique, but in copper. I'm hoping to incorporate a lampwork pendant into it; using lampies with seeds is another of my goals this year.

My little town

2010-06-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

I live in a town that has often been rated as one of the most livable towns in the United States. Tonight was one of the reasons why; in the summer, we have weekly concerts in the park.

They're free. Anyone can come, bring a picnic or buy food from the sponsoring restaurant; bring their own bottle of wine, or purchase a glass or two from the sponsoring vineyard. Most of the town turns out; there are children running around, seniors strolling, and couples dancing.

The bands aren't famous; many of them are locals. But they're enthusiastic and there is something so sweet about sitting in the park, under big old trees, eating a picnic dinner, sipping on a glass of wine, and listening to music in the company of neighbors.

It's one of the things that makes this town special.

Thank you, Mother Nature

2010-06-24T21:04:00.000-07:00

We had the most glorious sunset tonight; nearly the entire sky was lit up in shades of orange and red. I could have photographed it and shown it to you, but hubby and I decided to go for a walk instead.

It was so beautiful; the colors just kept changing, and we ended up walking quite a lot further than we usually do. But the air was cool, the breeze was fresh, and the sky was gorgeous.

And then . . . a complete surprise: it actually started to rain on us. Not a heavy rain; just enough big, fat, drops to scent the air and make us feel reckless. So we took another turn and walked an even longer way home, in the rain.

We got home just as the sky went completely dark; just in time to see the full moon light up the sky.

Perfection.

Less is more

2010-06-23T16:12:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, we decided that we wanted to scale back and decrease the number of things we owned. They were beginning to own us; taking care of them took more time than we had to enjoy them. Books were an early casualty; we had so many, and all we did with them was dust them. Off they went, a box at a time, donated to the library. We only kept the ones we truly used for reference, or which were out of print and unlikely to pop up at the library.

That opened up so much space and time; we culled out the decorative items next. We only kept the things that truly made us happy; we decided that if taking care of something wasn't worth the enjoyment of it, out it went. Sure, there was guilt, at first, but the more we let go, the better we felt. Taking care of all of those things was weight we were glad to lose.

When we moved cross country, we did one more round. Everything now had a monetary weight to overcome; it wasn't enough to like it, we had to be willing to invest another dollar a pound in it in order to keep it. It was amazing how many things were just not worth it to us.

But now we're going after even bigger guns. We're talking about eliminating television reception from our lives. It's gotten dreadfully expensive, and the programming is not very good. We don't really enjoy it; we just fall into it because it's there, and we're tired or in a lazy mood. We're still discussing it; we haven't pulled the plug on it yet. We're not talking about eliminating the set; we'll probably rent movies when we want to watch, and maybe we'll even use the Wii more often.

I have to admit, I'm looking forward to losing it. With what it costs, we could eat out twice a week!

Classic cars, kettle corn, and a walk on the beach

2010-06-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

Does it get any better than that? Yup, we took the day off and went down to Pismo Beach to see the the classic car show. Today was the first day, and it was pretty relaxed. It will get crazier this weekend; there will be more cars, more vendors, and lots more people.

But today was more our speed. We had plenty of time to really get a close look at the cars and chat with the owners and other car fans. There were no lines at the food stands, and the kettle corn was fresh and hot. The pier was uncrowded and we strolled until the wind pushed us back to the shelter of the buildings.

There are some days that are just too California for words, and this was one of them. I was more than ready to grab a board, hop into a Woody, and hit the waves. Where are the Beach Boys when you need them?

No more PTA

2010-06-17T17:56:00.000-07:00

My youngest graduated from High School this year.

The school calendar is officially none of my business anymore; I no longer need to know when school starts or what time the bus arrives, and did the route change from last year? No more frantic runs for school supplies that weren't on the list and are sold out at every store within a 20 mile radius, and no more calls asking me to find something under the bed and bring it in right now to keep a kid from failing one subject or another.

It's amazing how many final grades over the years have come down to a poster that was stored under the bed.

No more Back to School nights, Open Houses, teacher conferences, and calls from an automated system that says, "Your student was absent one or more periods today," that always seem to come to our house by mistake, or so I've been told. It's amazing how many teacher seem to have trouble taking attendance.

But never mind all that; the truant officer never actually came to our door, and all three of our kids have high school diplomas.

Life is good.