Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Overwhelmed

Yup, I did it to myself again! For the past couple of months, I've been acting oddly. Instead of ripping projects out and putting the beads away when I no longer felt like finishing something, I started stacking my unfinished projects. You see, I start and abandon as many projects as anyone else, but I've learned over the years to burn the evidence.

Some projects just aren't worth finishing; when I get that blah feeling about something, I'm not going back. It can be a perfectly good whatever it is, but suddenly, there is something about it that isn't working for me. Half the time I don't even know why I'm losing interest, but there it is. I just suddenly know that I don't want to finish it.

Rip, rip, rip, sort, sort, sort; and it's gone. Just like that.

Except suddenly I wasn't ripping anything out, I was setting it aside. And not only was I setting the project aside, but most of the time all the beads I'd pulled out to go with it were set aside, too. Sometimes, not even in the same location. The stack was in danger of toppling, and I wasn't at all interested in any of it, but for some reason, I was letting it pile up, and I didn't even realize what I was doing.

Today, it all clicked. I have a project that I have wanted to start for the past week, but every time I walked over to my bead closet, a horrid feeling of dread swept over me, and I couldn't even open the door. "Maybe later," I'd tell myself, and I'd do something else. "Maybe I just need to take a break."

Nope. I needed to get rid of all the false starts and put all of my beads away; as soon as I did, all my energy and joy came flooding back. The needle feels good in my hand again.

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