One month

This is me, one month into my diet. I have no idea how many pounds I've lost so far, because I'm not weighing myself. I have a tendency to be very competitive, and very, very impatient. I want results immediately, and I want them to be extraordinary.

When I've tried to diet in the past, I've found that weighing myself led to feelings of despair and frustration. I've never been able to lose as much as I expected to lose as quickly as I expected to lose it; getting on the scale and seeing the real number gave me a "what's the use?" feeling that led to giving up and gaining more. So this time, no scale. I've committed to four months of healthy eating and exercising, and I'll wait until then to see how I've done, pound-wise.

Every month, I'm going to look back and see how I've done. This month has gone well, I think. I'm feeling a lot better; I have more energy, I'm sleeping better, and I've seen a change in my size. My chin is pointy again. My nose got thinner; I had to readjust the nosepiece on my glasses to see properly. My eyelids aren't puffy any more. I went down two, count 'em, two bra sizes - and I'm wearing jeans that I couldn't even zip a year ago, without a muffin top bulging over the waistband!

I've already met my goal of dropping one size in four months; my new goal is to stay there, or possibly go down one more size. I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't; I've already met my original goal, and this new goal is strictly for extra credit. I'd like to eventually fit into size 3 jeans, and size 8 tops, but that is my final goal. I've always been broad-shouldered and busty; even when I was thin, I needed a larger size on top, so I don't expect that to change. But I used to be slim-hipped, and I'd like to be there again. Not this quarter, though - that goal is much longer-term.

I'd like to be exercising more; I am definitely exercising more than I was before I started, but I think I could be doing more, so that's my primary goal for this month. I'm very happy with my new diet; I cheated twice this month, once on my sister's birthday, and once on Valentine's Day. Sadly, both times, the yummy desserts didn't agree with me; my mouth loved them, but my stomach said, "no way." As it stands right now, I really have no desire to try that experiment again. My body has made it abundantly clear that it doesn't want sweets. Sorry, tongue. You lose this one.

All in all, it's been a good month. I like how I feel, and I'm not avoiding the mirror any more. I still have more to lose, but I don't hate the way I look; I can walk by a mirror and actually look into it and smile. I can take a picture of myself and let other people see it.

Yay, me.