RAW Inpressionism, or the Importance of Not Being Earnest

I have a tendency to go overboard.

No, really, you can stop laughing now. I know, it's more than a tendency; going overboard is pretty much a way of life for me. I get an idea in my head, and it's all I can see. I've been known to not only make myself crazy, but to contribute to the craziness of others.

Sometimes I just need to step back, turn off my mind, and do something random.

Case in point, I'm doing a project that involves a bunch of other beaders, most of which are head and shoulders above me. It's thrilling and downright scary; I swing between joy and terror every time I think about it. I thought I had my part done, but then I learned that I'd done a bit more than I was supposed to do; in fact I'd not only done my part, but the part of the person who was to come after me.

Gulp.

Now what? Obviously, I must start over. It will not do to overstep and break the rules before the project has even begun; but how to proceed? Panic, no, that is not a good option, though it is my initial reaction.

Fortunately, I realized that I am completely over-thinking this, and it's time to stop being so earnest. Which brings me to my title. I wanted to begin this project with a fabric of RAW, and I shall stay with that plan. So I laid out a pretty palette of beads, and have begun stitching them into a vaguely Impressionistic garden, or at least that is my intent.

I'm not charting anything out; I'm going with my gut on this one. In fact, I'm playing with the beads; letting myself choose the colors as I stitch. I'm going to leave a lot for the next person to interpret; I'm not going to try to dictate the direction, second guess, or try to impress. I'm just going to be me.

Silly, silly me.

Two months in

. . . and I'm feeling brave enough to show you my before and after pictures. This one, to the left, is what I look like today. I'm sitting in my studio, leaning forward to press the button on the computer that takes my picture.

(If you're busty, like I am, leaning over is a good thing when you take a photo. It really shifts the mass; it made me look a lot better than when I took the photo straight on. I'm vain enough to use perspective tricks, oh, yes I am!)

And to the right, we have the before picture, taken with my cousin's beautiful daughter. I love looking at her; she's adorable. But the picture of me still makes me cringe. Obviously, I was enjoying myself and very happy that day - look at that smile. But the rest of me - ouch! How did I get that big and not notice it happening?

(Erm, I stopped looking in the mirror about 25-30 pounds ago, that's how.)

Okay, enough with the recriminations. It is what it is, and I'm looking now. So, how did this month go, you ask? Not as thrillingly as the first month, when I was losing inches pretty much every day or two. The pace has slowed; the changes are becoming harder and harder to see.

I didn't start exercising right away; it took me a couple of weeks to make that commitment a reality, and I expected too much from it when I did start. I had a meltdown, and was rescued by my friends. I reconnected with an old friend who is now a fitness coach; check out her blog, BAM Fitness Coaching, if you're interested in building muscle and losing weight. She's got me lifting weights in addition to the cardio workouts I was already doing; I can already feel the difference, and I'm looking forward to seeing the difference.

All in all, it was a mixed month.

Though I would really like to see more of a difference, I have lost about 30 inches all told, and even I have to admit that's a lot. I'm not looking as good as I'd like to look because I have about 20 more to lose before the numbers are beginning to be where I want them to be. I started exercising later than I wanted to start, but once I got started, I've been very consistent.

Next month, I want to keep on with the exercise, and work on developing patience. Urk. Not my strong suit. I want the weight off, and I want it off yesterday. But, as I'm constantly reminded, I didn't put the weight on in a week, and it's not coming off in a week. I will get there if I keep working at it.

Eventually.

Two days . . .

. . . and counting.

My goal this month has been to workout more, and I have to admit that I didn't start off very well. I have been moving more; walking, hiking a bit, and doing short bouts of push-ups and sit-ups, but I really wasn't exerting myself, if you know what I mean.

Long story short, I had a horrible nightmare which pushed me to put on my exercise clothes yesterday and get started. I put my old Tae Bo DVD in the machine and turned it on. Has it really been 7 years since I've worked out? Judging by the date on the disc, yes, yes it has.

Of course, it kicked my butt.

But I went through the whole Strength Workout, without sitting down, even though I did need to slow the pace a little, and grab onto my desk for balance some of the time. I felt really good when I'd finished; it was hard, but I didn't quit. And even though I was feeling the pain this morning, I put that DVD back in and did the Power Workout.

I'm two for two - and counting. I'm going to beat this.

Yippeeee!

I'm so excited! My Hugs and Kisses Bangle (pattern available in my shops) won second place in the Bead Unique Beaded Accessories Contest.

I've been making a lot of bangles lately; I just can't seem to get enough of them. They're fun; I think that's it. They're playful. It's hard to take a bangle seriously, and that's the mood I've been in lately. I just want to have fun!

Look for my bracelet in the June 2011 issue of Bead Unique, and expect at least a few more bangles from me before then. I don't plan on stopping any time soon.