Friday, November 4, 2011

Opening and closing

This year has been a year of change for me; physical changes to be sure; but emotional and life changes, too. I've been trying things that I've always wanted to do, but didn't have the nerve to do, and I have been working on getting healthy and strong.

As the year winds down, I'm really feeling the changes; I've let go of some things, and opened up room for others, yet unknown. Letting go can be very painful; not just for the one who lets go, but for others, who don't want to let go. That's the hardest part of letting go; sometimes other people feel hurt.

I wish I could please everyone all the time, but I can't. I've spent about 50 years trying, and have recently come to the reluctant conclusion that I must let go of that need in me to please others; I must, finally, be true to myself. And so, I've opened another door, cleared out some more space in my life, made some more room for something that will be a better fit for me.

When I did that, a door closed behind me.

It happens sometimes. It's sad; but it also makes me very grateful for the times when the door wasn't closed behind me; grateful for the friends who understand that sometimes we need to walk in different directions in order to meet up again and share our stories. Those people are rare and precious jewels; I treasure them, and love knowing that we will always be close in our hearts, even if life has taken us in very different directions.

You know who you are. I love you always.

3 comments:

Kristen said...

{{{{{{ <3 Hugs <3 }}}}}}}}}

Releases by Rufydoof said...

As they old saying goes "as one door closes another one opens"... or is it the other way around... either way you need to make decisions which are the best for you. Keep smiling!

Karyn

Cynthia Newcomer Daniel said...

It's hard when those decisions hurt others - especially when not making them hurts me. Sometimes it just goes that way. But - on the good side - I feel much lighter and more open now!