Report from the Trenches: Week Six

My sixth week of work on my "Battle of the Beadsmith" piece is over; and I'm going to to do my best to give you a report without giving away any top-secret information. I can't release any photos, or give you any specifics of the design until the battle has actually begun and my photos are turned loose to joust in their first round. But, until then, here are a few thoughts and musings from the sixth week:

I've finished my piece. It's been photographed and emailed; now I'm just hunkering down, waiting for the big reveal and the jousting to begin.

I was surprised when I realized it was done; until the very last minute, I didn't know how it would turn out. I ran with my gut on this one; I did what felt right. I'm happy with it; it was an emotional piece for me and it brought up a lot of strong feelings. When I started it, I wanted it to be a healing piece, and it was.  The stones I used were purchased in a time of loss, with the hope of healing. They sat in a drawer for a long time; I know now that I wasn't quite ready to heal.

There was more loss while I worked on this piece, and with it, came healing. I let go of some things that had been keeping me from healing; I found peace in spite of sadness. This piece embodies my strength, my stubbornness, my joy, my sorrow. It has all of my fight in it. No matter what happens in the battle to come, it's the best I have to offer.

It's not what I expected to bead. It's not a showpiece; it's my heart. I didn't know I could do that.

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Beading Babes: Nefertiti Goes Bollywood

I've joined a really fun group of beaders called The Beading Babes, and here is the result of my first project with them. It's a variation of a pattern that was published in the June issue of Bead & Button by the fabulously talented Helena Tang-Lim. Her original necklace is titled Echoes of Nefertiti; I'm calling my set Nefertiti Goes Bollywood.

Lucky for me, the Beading Babes and Helena Tang-Lim have been very understanding of my near inability to follow directions. You'd think a pattern designer would have more respect for other people's designs, wouldn't you? You'd think I'd appreciate the hours and hours that someone put into designing a piece and writing up the directions; you'd think I'd follow those painstakingly drawn diagrams right down to the last bead.

But you'd be wrong.

When I see a design that I love, it always sends my thoughts off in a dozen different directions. I immediately start with the "what-ifs;" I want to turn necklaces into bracelets and earrings, and earrings into chokers. I want to take bits of the design and rearrange them; add new bits, and swap out beads. A good design fires up my creative juices and inspires me to play with it; the best designs take me places I never would have gone on my own.

It's like taking a vacation for me. With other people's patterns, I get the chance to go to new places and see new things and get all excited about my own craft again; and, just like when I'm on vacation, I can't resist slipping away from the group and wandering down that enticing little alley. I love to get lost in new places; this time, with Nefertiti as my guide, I found an alley in Egypt that took me to India.

Thank you, Beading Babes and Helena Tang-Lim!

Thank my lucky stars

This morning, while I was picking berries, I had a little chat with a young man who was very upset about an unfair situation. As described, the situation was unfair; but I have to admit, I wasn't very sympathetic. I told him that he would be happier if he stopped worrying about things being fair, and just got on with it. He wasn't very happy with my advice, and left rather quickly.

Then, as I always do, I turned my own advice on myself. I've been stewing over an unfair situation myself, lately. I won't go into details, but suffice to say that there is something I want that I can't have right now; and, to make it worse, the people who have it don't appreciate it. That has made me unhappy; I would take care of it much better than they do, and it seems unfair that they have it and I don't.

Of course, there's more to the story than that, but you get the idea.

As I picked, I had a good long time to ponder fairness. Of course, there are two sides to it; sometimes when things are not fair, we lose out - but, other times, we get things unfairly, and someone else loses out. Yet, when we're on the winning side, we don't ever call out, "Unfair!" Nope, we just accept the goodies that come our way and feel lucky. And if they keep coming, sometimes we forget to feel lucky and start feeling entitled.

And then, we feel that it is unfair if we lose the things that we got unfairly in the first place.

So today I'm thanking my lucky stars for the good things that have come my way, and I'm letting the bad things go. None of it is fair, but I've resolved not to just look at the unfair things that hurt me; there are plenty of good things in my life that I don't deserve.

I think I'll do better if I focus on those.

Report from the Trenches: Week Five

My fifth week of work on my "Battle of the Beadsmith" piece is over; and I'm going to to do my best to give you a report without giving away any top-secret information. I can't release any photos, or give you any specifics of the design until the battle has actually begun and my photos are turned loose to joust in their first round. But, until then, here are a few thoughts and musings from the fifth week:

Five weeks work done already? How can that be? Only three more weeks to go? It doesn't seem possible. I'm making good time; I still have to finish embellishing it, make a final decision on the clasp and bead it; but, other than marveling at how quickly the time has passed, I'm feeling pretty good about my progress.

I met my goal from last week; I've added more color, and more darker beads. It's not as light as it was a week ago, but it still has a lightness about it. It's very densely woven; not entirely solid, but definitely not airy. It's the sort of piece that settles onto me. 

I have had so many second thoughts and panics about it; it's not a typical "contest" piece, and that's a bit scary for me. For all it's weight, it's not what I would call a big piece, and there's no bling. Not a crystal or rivoli or chaton; the closest thing to bling are accents of gold. There had to be gold beads in it; this has been my year of using gold, and I couldn't leave gold out of this one.

It's earthy. And, even though it doesn't use traditional beading, I was heavily influenced by Sioux beading - and, of course, by everything that is Sedona. This piece is a tribute to my circle of friends; to the peace and joy that you bring to my life every day, in person, and over the Internet. It's one of the most grounded pieces I've ever made; it has a calm presence, which is something I need in my life right now.

Beading is a touchstone for me; I can use it to create whatever I need. Right now I need to plant my feet firmly on the earth and know that despite everything, I am still standing strong. Another time I will fly; another time, I will soar. This piece belongs to the earth, and so do I.

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Report from the Trenches: Week Four

My fourth week of work on my "Battle of the Beadsmith" piece is over; and I'm going to to do my best to give you a report without giving away any top-secret information. I can't release any photos, or give you any specifics of the design until the battle has actually begun and my photos are turned loose to joust in their first round. But, until then, here are a few thoughts and musings from the fourth week:

Beading was my refuge this past week; I needed to lose myself in the weaving, and I did. It's turning out to be a methodical, symmetrical piece; it's in exact opposition to the way my week went. I got a lot more done than I had any right to expect; the more things fell apart around me, the steadier my beadwork became. As it stands right now, it's probably the most even, symmetrical piece I've ever made.

It needs more work, of course; right now, there are too many light beads and not enough dark ones to balance the design. But I really wanted to work with light beads; I needed them this week. I ended up using them in a very repetitive design that will probably become the background for some beadweaving with darker beads; at least that's my best guess as to what will happen to it next week.

As of right now, I've reached a set-it-down-and-think-about-it point. I'm done with the light beads, I think; no guarantees, of course, but that's my feeling right now. Perhaps I will put them back in their tubes tonight and let the darker colors out. I'm feeling the need to wake up to a fresh bead board on Monday morning.

It's time to put this week behind me.

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Berries for nothing and your kicks for free

As you probably already know, we grow a lot of food in our backyard. I'm often told how lucky I am to have so much good fresh fruit and vegetables for free, and I have to agree with the first part of that statement. 

I'm very, very lucky to live in a town where we can afford to have such a large yard; lucky to live in a place where the sun shines almost non-stop and things grow so well; lucky to have fresh, organic fruit and vegetables on my table.

But it isn't free. Not even close! 

It's not a large monetary investment; even the trees weren't really that expensive. Seed packets are cheap, and whenever I can, I save seed and plant them the next year. Berries love to reproduce; our initial investment in twelve strawberry plants has multiplied exponentially. And the blackberries come up all over the place; I've gotten to the point where I have to pull up the volunteers and toss them on the compost heap. I just don't have any more room for more plants.

It's an investment in time; I spend hours picking and processing every day. And it takes a lot of energy, too; gardening is hot, and occasionally heavy, work. And sometimes, like today, it requires a big investment in adrenaline.

There have been a lot more rattlesnakes in these parts than usual; not in my neighborhood, thank goodness, but out in the hills that surround our town. My sister, who lives in the hills, has seen quite a few, and two of her dogs have been bit by rattlers. Luckily, both survived; but it's made her - and all of us - a lot more wary when we're out in the garden. 

Rattlesnakes don't always follow the rules; they don't always stay where they belong.

My sister has reluctantly decided not to pick most of her blackberries; she's only picking the ones on the outside, and she's wearing boots and chaps while she's doing it. I'm keeping my eyes open while I pick, but, since there haven't been any snakes sighted in our area, I'm picking without leathers. It's hot out there.

Well, today, I had a scare. Usually, when I hear a rustling in the berries, it's a small lizard. I like lizards, and I say hello to them as they scurry off. But today, just as I was reaching for a nice plump berry, I heard a strange whirring sound and felt something strike my hand. After tasting that jolt of adrenaline, I remembered that rattlesnakes rattle, they don't whir, and rattlesnake bites hurt. I wasn't hurt, there wasn't a mark on me, so it must have been something else. All that in the space of a second or two. And then I saw a very large grasshopper fly out of the berries. 

I've got a big bowl of blackberries for my breakfast tomorrow, but it wasn't free. Nope, not free at all.

Report from the Trenches: Week Three

My third week of work on my "Battle of the Beadsmith" piece is over; and I'm going to to do my best to give you a report without giving away any top-secret information. I can't release any photos, or give you any specifics of the design until the battle has actually begun and my photos are turned loose to joust in their first round. But, until then, here are a few of my thoughts and musings from the third week:

This next week will see the half-way point come and go; time flies. Of course, there is nothing quite as cliche as that particular statement, but the older I get, the faster it flies.

This week has left me thinking about time, and about the threads that join us. Early in the week, I finished the components that will make up this piece - the friends, if you will - and I began to weave them together into a tightly-knit circle. As I was doing that, the news came that one of my friends will be leaving the circle sooner than expected; his cancer has returned aggressively, and there is nothing more that can be done.

There is no way to hold him here physically, but the work he has done, and the friends he has made, will keep him alive in spirit for a good while longer. He has added so much beauty to the world; I am thankful that I had the chance to know him; and this week, I did what I could to reinforce the stitches of our friendship.

It's a precarious existence, a fragile balance. In beadweaving, as in life, threads break; they can unravel so quickly, and beads will suddenly begin to fall off. Sometimes, they are found again; sometimes they are not. Sometimes they are woven back more firmly and stay; sometimes the thread continues to break at the exact same point and the whole thing must be re-thought.

I've never worked this way before; I'm beading my life into this piece. 

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