Uninvested

It's an interesting fact: the less invested I am in the outcome of a piece, the better it turns out. I've known that about my craft for many years; whenever I start with a concrete plan, I'm disappointed. If I begin with a clean slate and no expectations, I'm usually very happy with where I end up.

Oddly enough, I've been very resistant to applying that logic to other areas of my life.

I tend to make detailed plans; I tend to want things to turn out a certain way, and I'm not above doing everything I can to try and make things happen the way I want them to happen. The fact that I'm invariably disappointed with the outcome hasn't stopped me; no, I try to stick with the plan regardless of how badly it's going.

Recently I had a glimpse of how foolish that is; recently I realized that my will isn't always going to overcome someone else's won't. And so, I'm dropping a plan that I've been fighting to implement for many years; I'm metaphorically ripping it up and scattering it to the four winds.

I'm happiest when I pay attention to the road I'm on; I'm most successful when I make my decisions based on what is happening right now. Looking too far ahead, or trying to make things fit, doesn't work for me; I don't know what will happen next, and I really don't need to.

It's enough to know that I am here, right now, today.